xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#'. The Digibandit: May 26, 2007

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Satan Is A Pussy

"No, no, no to Satan! No, no, no to America! No, no, no to occupation! No, no, no to Israel!"MOKTADA AL-SADR, the populist Shiite cleric, speaking to worshipers yesterday on his return to Iraq."

"Confronted by psychopathic morons like Al-Sadr -- in a world full of free range weapons of mass destruction -- the majority of secular powerhouse nations have put their heads in the sand and their butt holes in the air --just waiting for these warped savage throwbacks to drive their message home!" So said brigadier general Moishe Pipick , of the Israeli defense forces.

He continued; "When will the world wake up? -- The fact is that there are one-hundred million Arabs who can't read or write or dream of a future in this world. They have been exploited for generations and whipped into a blood frenzy by religious and tribal leaders who only care about power -- it's the Arab way for over a thousand years now. --the only thing that's changed is the weapons! -- So now we have to take them seriously."

The general continued; " Sure Bush fucked up bigtime! They did it all wrong: --- By not securing huge caches of weaponry -- indiscriminate debathification -- dismissing the army wholesale -- putting incompetent Republican ideologues in key reconstruction and vital transition leadership positions - and mismanaging the reconstruction resources -- yadadadadda!"

"The Bushies are idiots! -- Republican loyalty trumped competence every time -- but at least they have balls! Bush and Blair totally understand -- "It's ultimately about killing these bastards stupid!"

"We could have one million tough troops on the ground in Iraq if the French and Germans weren't a bunch of pussies -- and if the Russians and Chinese and Indians weren't more worried about their economic growth than their future asses" -- Pipick stated: "It's just a matter of time --you can bank on it -- THEY are gonna blow up a whole shitload of folks somewhere! Not three thousand --three hundred thousand! Economies will fail all over the world and the people will go berserk and then the Arab world will look like a scene from Cormac Mc Carthy's post apocalyptic novel "The Road."

"And take some advice from us Israelis" said the general --'It's not about the land and who was here first --or colonialism -- or WMD or no WMD --or whether Iraq is a poster child for Al Qaeda recruitment -- yadadadadadad ! Wake the fuck up! --It's about a whole bunch of death worshiping folks who are determined to fucking slaughter any of their own innocent people --if necessary -- if it helps to slaughter us Infidels.

It's way too late in the game for rational equivocation --we have the power to really hurt these bastards before they get to us --- and unfortunately, huge masses of innocent folks are going to have to die --if we don't use enough collective power to deliver a knockout blow in Iraq."

"The only chance to avoid wholesale devastation in the Middle East is to get a free world Mega Army into Iraq --that's the front --face it -- we're lucky to have a front -- these fanatics only understand force! - And we have to decisively punish them and stabilize the country with an overwhelming military presence --or what we'll have to do later will make the current conflict look like a tea party."

"When they hit us hard -- George Bush and Tony Blair are going to look like clones of George Washington and Winston Churchill on steroids -- and the former pussies will turn into pit bulls --- and Allah help the Arabs --there's gonna be a huge demand for virgins and swimming pools in heaven."

Happy Memorial Day