xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#'. The Digibandit: 11/01/2012 - 12/01/2012

Friday, November 30, 2012

MTV announces "Buckwild Anal" Jersey Shore with Cornholing Rednecks

Jersey Boys Don't Turn me on Like Buck
Filling the void left by Jersey Shore on Thursday nights at 10p, MTV will debut a new reality series "Buckwild Anal" centered on nine young adult friends in a small town in West Virginia who live by the motto "Whatever happens to you're cornhole when your drunk and high, happens!"  MTV rolls out the new series January 3 at 10p and following the premiere, the network will air two back-to-back half-hour episodes each week from 10-11p.  

 "Buckwild Anal" follows the friends as they fight, drink, four-wheel, dive in mud puddles ,cornhole each other and barn Animals and overall tear things up." said Chucky Schlockmeister head of MTV alternative programming.

 Better than The Jersey Shore!
He concluded "hey we know our audience -and this is the kind of shit they lap up like hogs in heat.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

phto caption contest -Winner gets to Ride on top of Mitts car

Great lunch Mitty Now go home and Cry some more -oh and send my best to BatFace Ryan 

Obama Offers Romney Job as Mormon Adviser - Romney Rejects Offer

 I'm no Mormon Lackey for that Nigga

The President over lunch with failed candidate Romney offered him a job as Head of Understanding Strange Religions and Customs - to which Romney allegedly told  his wife later:

"I'm no lackey for that nigga in the White House! -maybe i should just be The White House pool boy?"

The president was pissed off after being rebuffed in his offer and announced:

"Hey - first of all those Mormons are a strange and powerful group - a bit kooky BUT i would like to get a better handle on them strange white folks out there in the Desert who seem to be smokin something the rest of us ain't -hahaha!"

He continued: "oh -and it isn't like anyone else is standin around throwing jobs at this guy after he tries two suicide attempts and one by eating money -I mean -what's he gonna do next? -commit suicide by eating Caviar -hahaha? -only kidding folks - i wish him nothin but the best."

"And his wife too"

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Women Should Be Put In The Front Lines Of Combat

Four military servicewomen, who all served tours in Afghanistan or Iraq, filed a federal lawsuit in San Francisco on Tuesday seeking to end the Pentagon’s ban on women serving in direct combat jobs. AND OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY - is it about time!

I have only a few requirements:

 i don't even need a gun
First -  only the cuntiest women are chosen from the ranks - 62% of ALL females  have been making normal folks life miserable since Eve and these cunts would make the best warriors.

 she died a hero -hahahahahahaha!
Second . -only married women because then when they are killed at least some guy will get a break.

 SO Simple and Obvious -  So let's forge ahead on this

ABC launches "Cunt Trophy Wife"

ABC's  pilot  "Cunt Trophy Wife" cast Natalie Morales (White Collar) to play Meg, a hard-partying and promiscuous woman who always is on the lookout for a rich eligible guy.  Morales joins Bradley Whitford and Malin Ackerman in the single-camera comedy from Private Practice's Emily Halpern and SuperNews' Sarah Haskins.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Casting Call -Fox Will turn Tacky Women into Sex Animals

 help me
 i'll suck your cock right off your nutsack
Casting Call: A new TV pilot For Fox reality TV is seeking tacky women (who appear to be 25-35 years old) who are in desperate need of lessons in sophistication and who want to learn how to give great oral and anal sex.  The production is looking for women in the NYC area whose look and character can use a makeover and an intervention from other ladies who can teach her how to dress and how to act and perform like a high paid whoreNominate your mother, sister, aunt or friend and send an email to: makeoverneededplease@gmail.com and include a description of the woman and their story.

Monday, November 26, 2012

Fox TV Announces "I Dream of Fucking Genie" next gen Genie

 Larry Loved Genie head
"This is gonna be the next gen "I Dream of Genie" and the one Larry Hagman would love to have starred in""said Myron Schlockman prexy of Fox Reality TV -Oh and you know the old joke?

"A guy sees a Gorgeous Genie and she asks him for three wishes  -he replies - riches -health AND:

"How about a little head?"

"SO -She gives him a LITTLE head!  HA HA HA! -get it a LITTLE head for real -not a blow job -a LITTLE head! -Oh that kills me."

He continued -"BUT -in "I Fucked Genie"  The program starts with real "Genie Head"and it just gets better from there."

So this one's for you Larry who we hope never turned down a blow job from Genie.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Oxygen Announces "Shopping makes me Wetter Than My Boyfriend"

 I get Wet thinking about shopping
Well this new series premiered on Oxygen last Monday at 11p and delivered 657,000 total viewers as well as 432,000 among A18-49, according to Nielsen.  -These viewers ought to be lined up and have their tubes tied before they bring any more future moron gal shoppers into the world.

American Buying Addicts keep Mainlining Crap as Their Lives Diminish

Black Friday shoppers spent an estimated $11.2 billion mostly on crap they don't nedd in spite of having shit in the bank for emergencies or their kids educations. 

Then they go home and eat themselves to death with their fat fucking kids while watching crap television

And then they blame it on the rich and successful for exploiting them.

Paul Ryan's Retarded Relatives (Lemur and Yokey Ryan) are REALLY PISSED at Him

 Lemur and Yokey Ryan
Lemur and Yokey Ryan - first cousins to the VP candidate who were both promised jobs as Secretary of Education and Health and Welfare respectively - said today from their trailer camp in Wisconsin:

"Fucking cousin Paul (batface) Ryan really cornholed us by losing and letting those Jews and Niggers and Spics and Homos and Lesbos take over the country - AND he shoulda never let that faggot Mitt parade his rich cunty wife all over the place!"

They continued: "Now were gonna have them teachin Science and more Rythmetic in all the schools AND soon there will be folks marrying Dogs and Cats AND Abortionists and Pot sellers will be a crawlin all over America AND we won't even be allowed to own Machine Guns or nuthin AND the tree huggers will be stompin aroun the hollow with their Lesbos and Faggots pettin Squirrels  - FUCK FUCK FUCK -Batface really cornholed us REAL Americans!!!"
Oh Boy - that WAS a narrow escape from those Republican Rednecks who WOULD  have been cavortin around and through and all over DC right now -whew!!!

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Romney Attempts Suicide By Eating Money

Anne Romney told the police; 'i heard him choking and went to his private Chapel and he was kneeling in front of Christ and stuffing hundred dollar bills down his throat,"

She said;" He left a suicide note saying that his money did him in and he wanted to die by eating it - He is really scaring all of us and i just hope they lock him up so he can't scare us anymore ."

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Injun Chief With Pilgrim in Heaven --Thanksgiving 2012

 we fucked you back
 you are still savages

  Chief Whitefish -"Look Pilgrim what has happened since you fucked us back then - My people have Casinos and loads of bling and their children go to Harvard and drive BMW trucks and our wives have Gucci luggage - And YOUR people have no jobs and are losing their houses and your druggy children have to leave college and live at home and your wives are desperate for sex and bling and security."

Pilgrim John Smith -"So what -You are still a bunch of fucking savages!"

Happy Thanksgiving

Imagine the Israeli/Gaza Crisis WITH a Nuclear Armed Iran in The Picture

Ok? -enough said? - Get the point? - Iran has been supplying Hamas with rockets and total strategic support SO if they were nuke Capable they would be threatening with them and Israel (seconds away from having to make a nuke response decision) would be sitting on a razor thin edge and ANY provocation from the death worshiping nutbag Zealots in Tehran and there would be a nuclear exchange with millions of people incinerated.

NOW you don't hear any anxiety about Israel using their existing Nukes to resolve their threats do you?  -WHY??? - Because we all know they are not that crazy!  -BUT????

The Mad Mullahs who can't wait to get to Paradise and fuck Virgins in a swimming pool who control Iran and who have denied the Holocaust and pray for Israels destruction every day cannot be allowed to get any nukes.


Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Governor Chris Christie tells GOP "Shock Troopers" to "Fuck OFF"

With The Republican "Shocked Troopers" ganging up to demonize THE fat Boy from New Jersey for trying to suck Obama's cock during Hurricane Sandy because schmucko Mitty dissed him before AND during the disaster -He publicly announced:
 Called me bat face in High School says Paul Ryan

"Fuck Romney and That Bat faced Ryan AND the whole moronic nut wing of The GOP which is now officially a vestigial political organ!"

Fox TV Casting for ultra cool and rich CornHolers in LA

Casting Call: A Fox cable network is currently seeking outrageous, outspoken, upscale international men and women for a new docu-series from a major production company.  If you live in the Los Angeles area and love money, power and success and you like expensive cars and clothes, and you love getting cornholed please consider applying.  

Send an email to: Castingchad@gmail.com and include your name, phone number, city, photo and a description about yourself.

Monday, November 19, 2012

Why Ann Coulter Hates Democrats? - No Sex! - Her Boyfriend

Meyer Goldfat,Coulter's high school sweetheart said: "The reason she's turned into such a vicious sour apple and man hating cunt, is that she has not been laid since we broke up in i982!"

"I only srewed her once after the senior high graduation party -- she was wasted on booze and vi-codeine and actually she looked so ugly naked that i just rolled her over and stuck it up her corn hole", said Goldfat.

She is really frustrated, and all the cool guys in college she wanted to fuck just made fun of her. (her nickname was "Annie rottencrotch") Most of them were idealistic and liberal and that's the reason she hates Democrats with such a passion."

He continued;"One guy in particular, who she was really hot for, looked like a clone of presidential candidate John Edwards; and he was really brutal in his rejection -- he would put poems all over "Annie smelly rotten crotch -- kicks the ugly up a notch,"

So, said Goldblatt, "You can see why she hates The Democrats!" He added, "I kind of feel sorry for her, but the truth is she was a rotton vicious cunt even as a child -- she was a ball breaker in kindergarten -- just a natural born cunt!"

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Fox TV Announces "We Had Anal Sex During Sandy"

 let The Party begin
Fox Reality President Myron Schlockwell announced in Hollywood today:

"We are gonna show the world that when American's are in a disaster the thing they do best is fuck each other!"

He went on: "We are gonna show what happens when a drug ridden consumptive  culture which lives on Spectacle and Hoo Ra Ra are confined to quarters with the lights out and the wind howlin!!!"

"Fucking and Snorting and drinking and Sucking and Cornholing everything in sight with  wild abandon while houses and families get blown away (hehhehe)"

He said "This is Fox TV at it's best -appealing to the hard core morons who lap this shit up like ass candy!!!"

Romney Ryan Can't Stop Cryin -Boo Hoo Hoo

 The REAL Paul Ryan
"It was the freebies to the niggers and spics and poor white trash that did it!--it was the urban poor who killed us!  - The Kikes were behind it and The Mormon haters! - The liberal fags and tree huggers did us in? -Boo hoo hoo! -The 47%  -the poor schmucks and losers -boo hoo!"

Nah couldn't have anything to do with American's across all states (not the Mental Case states in the South of course) and all demos realizing that a coaltion of the Christian right nutsos and the Superrich were not exactly taking them down a path to reason and prosperity -Nah

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Read this And Puke -Iraq War Got Us Nothing But Fucking Pain -Sadam Was Right!!!


 ha ha ha
Ali Musa Daqdiq -    killer of Americans and civilians while we were in Iraq - gets shipped off to Lebanon to make the Iraqis good Shiite allies happy instead of being sent here to stand trial - they said fuck you America and oh thanks for all that killing and slaughtering so you could free us from the Sunnis so we could then help Iran and help Assad and then together try and fuck all of you stupid Americans up the ass  -ha ha ha

Should hung GW Instead
Sadaam Hussein was right about these Shiite motherfuckers!!!

Forced labor Built Your Ikea Furniture - So Fucking what

BERLIN — Ikea has long been famous for its inexpensive, some-assembly-required furniture. On Friday the company admitted that political prisoners in the former East Germany provided some of the labor that helped it keep its prices so low.
Do we care about some kraut in East Germany working 18 hours a day on a diet of some crusty rotten bread and a stale pickle?
fuck no - we have lots of kids living in cars with their unemployed Moms scavenging dumpsters for one meal a day. 
hey -maybe Ikea can hire THEM 

Friday, November 16, 2012

Fox Reality TV Announces "I HaD Anal Sex During Sandy"

Fox Reality President Myron Schlockwell announced in Hollywood today:

"We are gonna show the world that when American's are in a disaster the thing they do best is fuck each other!"

He went on: "We are gonna show what happens when a drug ridden consumptive  culture which lives on Spectacle and Hoo Ra Ra are confined to quarters with the lights out and the wind howlin!!!"

"Fucking and Snorting and drinking and Sucking and Cornholing everything in sight with  wild abandon while houses and families get blown away (hehhehe)"

He said "This is Fox TV at it's best -appealing to the hard core morons who lap this shit up like ass candy!!!"

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Republican's Failed The American Asshole Detection Test -Simple as THAT

Herman Caine - Sarah Palin - Michelle Bachman - Newt Gingrich (recently found God) - Rick Santorum - Mike Huckabee  -you get my drift here i'm pretty sure.

They had their big moments in the sun and before long The American Asshole Detectors started screaming and POOF! - "Adios mother fuckers! We got your numbers!"

Now i'm not sure why most of the biggest assholes are Bible Belting Republicans?

My theory  is centered around sexual repression and anger management problems and the loss of imagination induced by religious brainwashing and problems with toilet training from obsessive Evangelistic  -Sin kinda preoccupied parents - BUT i won't go there for now.

Suffice it to say that your average fun loving American is on to these folks -and GOD bless their good old American - early warning asshole detectors.

OH -   and Romney The Religious Mormon and this Monkey faced Priest Paul Ryan? - Guess what?


Asshole Warning Light!!!

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Paul Ryan says -The Niggas and Ilegals the Poor cost us the election"

 The Real Ryan
      Ryan and that crowd will NEVER learn!

Mr. Ryan’s remarks mask the larger issues behind the loss, and represent an inability to grasp other factors behind it.
“In our state, urban voters had two good reasons to come out,” said Senator Bob Casey, Democrat of Pennsylvania. “One was to support the president, and the other was the state had tried to implement voter ID laws. But assigning one factor to the case of an electoral defeat is usually pretty dangerous.”
Representative Michael M. Honda, Democrat of California, said that “urban” is “just another code word for people of color.”
“But a lot of people of color live in the countryside, too,” he added. “He is just grabbing at straws to justify his loss.”