xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#'. The Digibandit: 05/01/2012 - 06/01/2012

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

New Sexy Religious Shows On Cable


TV Land’s The CornHole Man, debuting June 20,  whichwill try to capture the reality of all the Christian Fundamentalist hypocrisy and bullshitIt stars Cedric the Entertainer as a former R&B music star who returns to his Christian roots as pastor of his father’s church. The CornHole Man focuses on the church as a place for repressed sexual desires, rather than a house of religion, Jones said. “The whole idea of that was unique — in many ways we think about this not necessarily as a churchbased show but rather a workplace comedy that happens to be [in] a church.”

When real-life religious leaders are spotlighted in TLC’s Preacher Wives — which looks at the lives of several Atlanta-based pastors and their spouses who love to hump farm animals — it’s told from a lifestyle perspective, rather than in religious tones. “Fundamentally our shows focus on the lifestyles and not necessarily the faith,” TLC general manager Amy Winter said. “I think the faith is the backbone of the lifestyle choices that we show throughout the series. I wouldn’t say we’re so focused on the religion itself; it’s just a piece of their lifestyle.”

We TV’s Mary Mary Where's my Dildo gives a behind the scenes look at the lives of the famed contemporary Gospel sister duo Erica and Tina Campbell. The Campbell sisters say that the lives of faith-based characters  who are lesbians have not been reflected in mainstream reality shows, but have appeal to viewers. We TV renewed the series for a second season after it averaged nearly 600,000 viewers in its freshman run.

“It’s good to see people be verbal about their Christian faith … but living a normal life,” Tina Campbell said. “You’re not going to see us in the pulpit preaching and trying to perfect folks, but you’ll see us living a real life and having challenges and not be able to cope with  all the deviant sex with each other and animals.”
Some networks are building shows directly around the Good Book itself. History will team with prolific reality series producer Mark Burnett to produce a five-hour, five-part series, The Bible Is ALL Bullshit
The series will chronicle the Bible from Genesis to Revelation and will air sometime in 2013, according to network officials.

History president and general manager Nancy Dubuc said the Bible is one of the world’s most significant fairy tales  and the series will bring its stories “to life for a new generation.”
GOSPEL GAME SHOW

With more than three-quarters of Americans identifying with some form of Christianity, Amy Introcaso-Davis, executive vice president of programming for GSN, said Christianity-themed programming is an untapped genre for cable. Later this year, GSN will introduce The American Bible Challenge, a new game show that challenges contestants on their knowledge of deviant homosexuality in the Bible.

“We see the American Bible Challenge as a authentic, fun way to reach that audience — it’s very fun and very relatable,” she said, adding that each episode of the Jeff Foxworthy- hosted show will feature a gospel choir fucking onstage.

“There’s nothing hokey about it — it’s contemporary, so I think churches themselves have gone in a different direction, so the media is going to follow them in some way.”

Introcaso-Davis said she’s not concerned about turning off atheists or non-Christian religious believers with the series, although she admits that religious-themed programming will always be a tad controversial because of the many divergent beliefs that people hold. “People believe in what they believe in, but the great thing about this country is people have the right to believe what they want,” she said. “At the end of the day [religion] is bullshit — religion does touch your life even if you’re not a believer, so it’s natural that we should be exploring it in all parts of the media.”

Average Anne Romney Wants Drissage Taught in Public Schools

German-born trainer and top-ranked equestrian, Mr. Ebeling was at ease with the wealthy women drawn to the sport of dressage, in which horses costing up to seven figures execute pirouettes and other dancelike moves for riders wearing tails and top hats.

He said:"Anne Romney has worked hard to make Drissage a part of public school training BUT damned if i know where a poor family would get a million bucks for one of them horses  -maybe with some government loan program?"

A taskmaster, Mr. Ebeling pushed Mrs. Romney to excel in high-level amateur shows. He escorted her on horse-buying expeditions to Europe. She shares ownership of the Oldenburg mare he dreams of riding in the Olympic Games this summer. Mrs. Romney and her husband, Mitt, even floated a loan — $250,000 to $500,000, according to financial records — to Mr. Ebeling and his wife for the horse farm they run in California, where the Romneys use a Mediterranean-style guesthouse as a getaway.

“He came over here with two empty hands,” Anne Gribbons, technical adviser of the United States dressage team, said of Mr. Ebeling. “He had a lucky break to get to know the Romneys.”

The relationship has given the Romneys “the ability to enjoy the horses in a very safe and private haven, along with enjoying the people who provide them the service,” said Robert Dover, who knows the Romneys and Mr. Ebeling and his wife, Amy. “That friendship has stood the test of time.” It also offers a glimpse into

 the Romneys’ way of life, which they have generally shielded from view.
Protective of their privacy, they may also have been wary of the kind of fallout that came after Mr. Romney’s mention of the “couple of Cadillacs” his wife owned and the disclosure of plans for a car elevator in the family’s $9 million beach house in California, which prompted criticism that Mr. Romney was out of touch with average Americans.

Mrs. Romney took up dressage at age 50 as a therapy for multiple sclerosis, but it soon became her passion. Riding, she has said, “sings to my soul.”

Mr. Romney, the presumptive Republican presidential nominee, was also drawn in. He chose the music that Mr. Ebeling has ridden to in competitions, from the movie “The Mission.” He also took up trail riding. In a recent conversation with Sean Hannity of Fox News not meant for broadcast but leaked to the Internet, Mr. Romney showed a familiarity with expensive, esoteric breeds, mentioning his wife’s Austrian Warmbloods and his own Missouri Fox Trotter — “like a quarter horse, but just a much better gait.


"I hope he's not porking Anne" Romney told his groom.

Monday, May 28, 2012

Signed Elvis Presley Turd on Auction Block

Elvis 280512
An original turd of Elvis Presley autographed and inscribed to songwriter and compose Irving Berlin on auction at Gotta Have It! store on March 21, 2012 in New York City. (Michael Loccisano/AFP/Getty Images)

LOS ANGELES — Extreme Elvis Presley fans, take note: the King's originally buried Turd at the Forest Hill Cemetery in Memphis, Tennessee that briefly housed Presley and his mother is up for auction, the Associated Press reported Monday


Though the idea of buying the music legend's Turd may give some the heebie-jeebies, CEO of Julien’s Auctions Darren Julien doesn't think the item is creepy in the slightest.
“I just consider that if you’re an ultimate fan of Elvis Presley, it’s an opportunity,” Julien told the New York Times. “It’s definitely a conversation piece. Only one person can say, ‘Hey,  i have one of The King's signed turds”

Pope Says Confessions To Queer Priests Don't Count Don't Count


In an amazing revelation from His Eminence in the Vatican today; The Pope asserted during an interview with the Catholic Times Magazine, that Catholics who gave their confessions to homo Priests would not be absolved from their sins -- he stated;

"Priests who have been found outa to be queers have no standing with Goda, and any absolutions whicha they gave --are null and voida!"

Catholic Times Vatican reporter, Faba Nugatzi asked the Pope; "But your emminence, these Catholic members of your flock had no way of knowing that they were confessing to homo's - and if their sins are serious and not forgiven -- they will go to Hell?"

"Atsa tough titty!", replied the Pope. "Do you thinka God isa gonna accept the Confession from a Priest who just gota finished sticking hisa tinga into some young Altar boy?"

The reporter replied, "But your Holiness, i was talking to a man who confessed that he had sodomized and tortured his three year old son while he was under the influence of pain killers and alcohol due to post traumatic stress syndrome from serving in Iraq - as a life long Catholic he lived in constant fear of going to Hell prior to his confession. - SO NOW - What will he do when he hears your announcement that he will not be absolved from his venal sins?"

The Pope answered,"Well he is justa gonna have to commit his sins all over again and finda, if he can, a non homo Priest -- and confess all over again, and then he will hava fresh starta with Goda."

"But Your Emminence --that makes no sense! -- it's cruel and an abomination of Christ's Gospel."

The Pope concluded, "Well thatsa the Churcha for you -- Happy Memorial Day."

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Top 150 TV Shows for Morons


2011-12 Season: Series Ranking In Adults 18-49:
P 18-49
P 18-49
P 18-49
Rank
NetworkProgram
#telecasts
Rating
Share
Viewers (000)
1
NBCNBC SUNDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL
15
7.99
20
10214
2
FOXAMERICAN IDOL-WEDNESDAY
19
6.16
17
7879
3
NBCVOICE
15
6.12
16
7821
4
ABCMODERN FAMILY
34
5.54
15
7090
5
FOXAMERICAN IDOL-THURSDAY
18
5.53
16
7067
6
CBSBIG BANG THEORY, THE
32
5.53
17
7066
7
CBSTWO AND A HALF MEN
34
5.10
12
6526
8
FOXX-FACTOR-WED
10
4.36
12
5580
9
CBS2 BROKE GIRLS
33
4.35
11
5560
10
ABCGREY’S ANATOMY
29
4.23
11
5409
11
NBCFOOTBALL NT AMERICA PT 3
15
4.21
11
5378
12
FOXNEW GIRL
28
4.20
11
5368
13
FOXX-FACTOR-THU
11
4.18
12
5341
14
NBCVOICE:RESULTS SHOW
6
4.17
11
5326
15
CBSHOW I MET YOUR MOTHER
32
4.12
12
5270
16
ABCONCE UPON A TIME
24
4.10
10
5240
17
CBSNCIS
34
4.01
11
5121
18
CBSSURVIVOR: SOUTH PACIFIC
12
3.99
11
5104
19
FOXFAMILY GUY
23
3.79
9
4847
20
CBSMIKE & MOLLY
33
3.77
9
4820
21
CBSCRIMINAL MINDS
34
3.73
10
4767
22
CBSROB
8
3.71
10
4748
23
FOXGLEE
25
3.66
10
4684
24
FOXTERRA NOVA
11
3.58
9
4573
25
ABCDESPERATE HOUSEWIVES
22
3.57
8
4571
26
CBSSURVIVOR: ONE WORLD
13
3.48
10
4443
27
CBSNCIS: LOS ANGELES
32
3.44
9
4404
28
ABCDANCING WITH THE STARS
20
3.44
9
4400
29
NBCOFFICE
31
3.42
9
4376
30
FOXALCATRAZ
10
3.39
8
4339
31
FOXHOUSE
25
3.31
8
4235
32
CBSPERSON OF INTEREST
31
3.31
9
4235
33
FOXSIMPSONS
23
3.28
9
4189
34
CBSAMAZING RACE 19
12
3.26
8
4168
35
CBSRULES OF ENGAGEMENT
19
3.25
9
4161
36
CBSHAWAII FIVE-0
33
3.25
8
4154
37
CBSCSI
31
3.22
9
4116
38
NBCSMASH
15
3.20
8
4095
39
CBSMENTALIST, THE
31
3.14
9
4012
40
ABCDANCING W/STARS RESULTS
19
3.06
8
3907
41
CBSAMAZING RACE 20
10
3.02
8
3863
42
ABCHAPPY ENDINGS
25
3.01
8
3850
43
ABCPRIVATE PRACTICE
24
2.97
8
3794
44
ABCBACHELOR, THE
10
2.93
7
3750
45
ABCREVENGE
27
2.90
8
3708
46
FOXBONES
15
2.86
8
3660
47
ABCCASTLE
27
2.84
7
3637
48
NBCFEAR FACTOR
5
2.81
7
3589
49
CBSHOW TO BE A GENTLEMAN
2
2.79
8
3568
50
FOXNAPOLEON DYNAMITE
5
2.77
7
3543
51
FOXTOUCH
9
2.74
7
3503
52
FOXAMERICAN DAD
18
2.74
6
3500
53
ABCDON’T TRUST THE B-APT 23
7
2.67
7
3411
54
ABCGCB
8
2.64
7
3380
55
ABCLAST MAN STANDING
29
2.64
8
3375
56
NBCPARENTHOOD
19
2.61
7
3335
57
FOXRAISING HOPE
25
2.58
7
3301
58
FOXCLEVELAND-SUN 8:30P
2
2.57
6
3291
59
NBCBIGGEST LOSER 13
18
2.56
7
3271
60
NBCBIGGEST LOSER 12
13
2.54
7
3251
61
ABCSUBURGATORY
32
2.53
7
3230
62
CBSCSI: MIAMI
21
2.52
7
3217
63
ABCMIDDLE, THE
34
2.51
8
3211
64
CBSUNFORGETTABLE
31
2.48
7
3171
65
CBSGOOD WIFE, THE
23
2.48
6
3165
66
ABCSCANDAL
7
2.45
7
3134
67
ABCPAN AM
14
2.42
6
3100
68
ABCRIVER, THE
7
2.42
6
3090
69
NBCUP ALL NIGHT
27
2.42
7
3088
70
NBCAPPRENTICE 12
14
2.41
6
3079
71
ABCCELEBRITY WIFE SWAP
4
2.40
6
3074
72
CBS60 MINUTES
29
2.36
7
3020
73
NBCLAW AND ORDER:SVU
31
2.30
6
2941
74
NBCPARKS AND RECREATION
26
2.26
6
2892
75
FOXFINDER
13
2.26
7
2885
76
NBCWHITNEY
27
2.25
6
2875
77
NBCFOOTBALL NT AMERICA PT 2
15
2.24
6
2862
78
FOXMOBBED
4
2.23
6
2849
79
CBSUNDERCOVER BOSS
14
2.23
7
2848
80
FOXALLEN GREGORY
7
2.18
5
2791
81
NBCGRIMM
26
2.14
7
2742
82
NBC30 ROCK
19
2.13
6
2725
83
FOXI HATE MY TEENAGE DGHTR
7
2.12
6
2705
84
ABCSAT NIGHT FOOTBALL
10
2.10
7
2690
85
ABCMAN UP!
8
2.08
6
2663
86
ABCBODY OF PROOF
26
2.08
6
2660
87
FOXBOB’S BURGERS
9
2.03
6
2601
88
CBSBLUE BLOODS
30
2.02
6
2583
89
FOXCLEVELAND
21
1.91
5
2446
90
ABCWORK IT
2
1.91
5
2444
91
NBCCOMMUNITY
24
1.90
6
2434
92
ABCCOUGAR TOWN
12
1.90
5
2425
93
NBCARE YOU THERE CHELSEA
12
1.90
5
2423
94
CBSCSI: NY
25
1.89
6
2414
95
ABCWIPEOUT-THURS
10
1.88
5
2400
96
NBCPLAYBOY CLUB
3
1.84
5
2351
97
NBCSING OFF
12
1.83
5
2336
98
ABCMISSING
10
1.80
6
2298
99
ABCSHARK TANK
18
1.80
6
2297
100
NBCFASHION STAR
10
1.78
5
2274
101
NBCOFF THEIR ROCKRS
8
1.76
6
2247
102
NBCPRIME SUSPECT
12
1.68
5
2154
103
NBCWHO’S STILL STANDING
5
1.66
4
2128
104
NBCAWAKE
12
1.66
5
2127
105
FOXFRINGE
26
1.66
5
2120
107
FOXKITCHEN NIGHTMARES
23
1.64
6
2095
108
ABCCHARLIE’S ANGELS
7
1.63
5
2088
109
FOXBREAKING IN
5
1.61
4
2059
110
ABC20/20-FRI
32
1.57
5
2005
111
ABCEXTREME MAKEOVER:HM ED-9P
9
1.56
5
1989
112
CBSNYC 22
4
1.55
4
1984
113
ABCAMER FUNN HOME VIDEOS
27
1.55
4
1978
114
NBCOFF THEIR ROCKRS 830
4
1.54
5
1968
115
ABCPRIMETIME:WHAT WOULD U DO
17
1.53
5
1951
116
NBCDATELINE FRI
33
1.50
5
1913
117
ABCEXTREME MAKEOVER:HOME ED.
14
1.49
4
1905
118
FOXCOPS 2
13
1.42
4
1818
119
NBCHARRY’S LAW
25
1.38
4
1761
120
CBSGIFTED MAN, A
22
1.35
4
1727
121
NBCFREE AGENTS
3
1.33
4
1707
122
NBCCHUCK
12
1.33
4
1703
123
CWVAMPIRE DIARIES
32
1.30
4
1658
124
CBS48 HOURS MYSTERY
29
1.30
4
1658
125
FOXCOPS
12
1.27
4
1627
126
ABCYOU DESERVE IT
5
1.22
3
1561
127
NBCDATELINE SUN-7PM
13
1.16
3
1478
128
NBCBENT 9P
3
1.15
3
1467
129
ABCMY EXTREME AFFLICTION
4
1.14
4
1463
130
CWAMERICA’S TOP MODEL-11
12
1.13
3
1446
131
ABCMISSING-WED
3
1.11
3
1426
132
NBCWHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE
15
1.11
4
1414
133
ABC20/20-FRIDAY
1
1.10
4
1410
134
NBCBEST FRIENDS FOREVER
4
1.09
3
1390
135
ABCABC SAT MOVIE OF THE WEEK
9
1.01
3
1295
136
NBCFIRM
15
1.00
3
1279
137
CWONE TREE HILL
13
0.99
3
1271
138
NBCBENT 930
3
0.99
3
1262
139
NBCROCK CENTER-B. WILLIAMS
27
0.96
2
1223
140
CWSECRET CIRCLE
28
0.91
2
1163
141
CWSUPERNATURAL
32
0.89
3
1143
142
CBSCRIMETIME SATURDAY
23
0.86
3
1102
143
NBCLAW AND ORDER:SVU-SAT
22
0.84
3
1072
144
NBCLAW & ORDER:SVU-WED 9PM
2
0.82
2
1054
145
CW90210
28
0.82
2
1049
146
CWGOSSIP GIRL-MON
25
0.80
2
1020
147
CWRINGER
25
0.79
2
1010
148
CWHART OF DIXIE
30
0.76
2
968
149
CWAMERICA’S TOP MODEL-BRIT
12
0.71
2
913
150
CWNIKITA
31
0.61
2
774
151
FOXQ’VIVA
4
0.60
2
772
152
CWH8R
3
0.49
1
620
153
NBCFIRM-SAT
1
0.43
1
549
154
CWREMODELED
6
0.33
1
422
155
NBCESCAPE ROUTES
6
0.28
1
354
156
CWLA COMPLEX
5
0.27
1
350