xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#'. The Digibandit: 10/01/2012 - 11/01/2012

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

God Bless America and All It's Donkey Fuckers

 Where a country's constitution protects this kind of comedy:

You are have some shot at Happiness




http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/tue-october-16-2012/back-in-black---lance-armstrong--butt-chugging---farm-animal-sex?xrs=share_fb

http://www.uproxx.com/media/2012/10/predictably-hilarious-lewis-black-on-buttchugging-and-sex-with-farm-animals/


Monday, October 29, 2012

Sandy is Gonna be one Bad Ass Blow Job - be Careful Out There

"Our goal has been to get people to appreciate the magnitude of the storm and try to prove to them that, based on everything we know, that this is going to be a system that is outside of their experience," Norcross said.
The Weather Channel sent a message via Twitter calling it "an extraordinary storm, an extremely serious threat" and urged followers to re-tweet it. The storm "will occupy a place in the annals of weather history as one of the most extraordinary to have affected the United States," the network tweeted."
Quickly, the Business Insider tweeted: "WHOA. The Weather Channel meteorologist just completely freaked out."

Sunday, October 28, 2012

"Out With A Bang!" Plan Endorsed By AARP

 

DR.MOISHE PIPICK - PRESIDENT OF THE AARP (ALMOST ALIVE RETIRED PEOPLE) -WHICH COVERS 68% OF ALL SENIORS -ANNOUNCED TODAY:

“Everyone sees it but no one wants to talk about About $67 billion — nearly a third of the money spent by Medicare — goes to patients in the last two years of life. The need to spend less money at the end of life “is the elephant in the room,” Evan Thomas wrote in “The Case for Killing Granny,” the cover story in last week’s Newsweek. “Everyone sees it but no one wants to talk about

Dr. Pipick continued: "Under the 'Go Out With A Bang!" plan - If you have less than three years to live - -THen - instead of wasting away and being shlepped from one test and one Doctor to another -and then finally and inevitably expiring with your loved ones broke while watching you turn into a dead cabbage roll:

"You can "Go Out With A Bang" - Yep -we'll give you a cash payment (twenty percent of what your treatment would have been) and ALL the drugs and/or booze you want - including synthetic Viagra which will turn your libido back 50 years -AND then you have access to all the Male and/or Female hookers you desire until the deal terminates!

Pipick concluded; " The savings wil result in the average medical plan costing most folks under three -hundred dollars a year -And that's with universal coverage - including illegal aliens!"

Republican leaders said "This will save the economy" And The Tea Partu called it a breakthrough in controlling medical costs."
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Zionists are as Cookoo as The fucking Mullahs or any Priests



 Hi -I am a fucking Zealot -vote Romney
 me too
Prominent Religious Zionism Rabbi Eliezer Melamed calls on American citizens to support Republican presidential hopeful. 'Obama has proved he is not a true friend of Israel,' he states 

In an unusual statement on US affairs, the rabbi argued that "the true friends of Israel" must be supported both in the presidential election and in the Congressional and Senate elections.

Oh  -and i am a total supporter of Israel -but they have to put the screws to these theocratic bullies who rant and pray to some tooth fairy in the sky - while those who won their freedom and security with balls and sweat and tears and brains did/do all the heavy lifting -as usual and have to live and die in the real world -not some tribal fantasy.

Oh - and that is not to revere and respect The Talmudic tradition of learning and respect for law and basic goodness and virtue that has sustained the Jews since their expulsion in 70BCE from the same Temple they  pray at as we speak.

 Baruch Spinoza
the Jews flourished and survived because they were lucky enough to have their Priest Class oblitered - nutsos like the Zionist Rabbi Eliezer Malamed -and replaced with wise men who respected secular and democratic values -The great Rebbe Scholars/ Philosopher tradition. (Spinoza -Maimonedes )
 it's ok to eat pussy on The Sabath
 
 

Friday, October 26, 2012

Bibi Sending a BIG "Fuck You" Greeting Card To Ahmadinejad - Real Soon

Hope you are somewhere safe and sound because this fucker is going to reduce your Nuclear Aspirations to a pile of Rubble -including the whole fucking Mountain you hid the shit in AND when the Republican Army Guard learns that you wrecked the whole economy for nothing they are going to stone your filthy ass to death.

Now that's irony worthy of Shakespeare!

USA Network Goes heavy into Sexual Content


Wednesday, October 24, 2012

"The Cornholing Moonshiners" is Baaack!!! on Discovery

The illegal moonshine trade will be revisited when " The Cornholing Moonshiners" debuts a second season on Discovery Channel November 7 at 10p.  Season two continues to follow bootleggers who follow their family traditions as they practice the art of making moonshine while trying to evade law enforcement.  Moonshiners is produced for Discovery Channel by Magilla Entertainment.

The Discovery Channel has joined the crowd and will now find any kind of worthless crap "Discoverable' to get ratings from the "Moron" demographic which is not their great strength (but soon maybe?)

In  the opening episode of this season Lem and Clem Hartnoogy will produce a batch of Moonshine and then invite their Redneck Christian Trash neighbors over for a party where they Cornhole anything in sight:


Tuesday, October 23, 2012

The Story of Life - This Picture Says It ALL

This is an infra red picture taken by a camera hidden in The New Jersey Pine Barrens showing a Mountain Lion about to pounce on and devour a poor unsuspecting  Deer.

Rich and Powerful  socio and pschopathic  homeo sapien males have been doing just that to the weak and poor and lame for over two million years now.

Romney and Ryan and their crowd just have better clothes and manners.

Snap out of it - turn around and start fighting back!



Sunday, October 21, 2012

"Coyote Arm" Conference Draws Millions To Switzerland

Men -from around the world - who have chewed off their arm so as to not risk waking the "Beast" they found snuggled up next to them after a drunken night of partying - joined together in Basil Switzerland today -To celebrate their collegial honor and bravery -and to warn "Men Everywhere" of the potential consequences of "Drunken Passion".


Moishe Pipick - Leader of the UCAF (Universal Coyote Arm federation) - chosen for being the first man to chew off BOTH arms when he woke up with TWINS - who in his words. "Defied the theory of evolution" announced:

"Men who have lost an arm in the service of drunken passion - bear witness and testimony to our eternal weakness for "Drunken Pussy" and the price some of us must pay for the dignity of All men Everywhere!"

Mr. Pipick went on; "And while there has been an attempt by the women marching outside our gathering to establish a "Coyote Arm" organization of their own -we can see by the number of one armed women marching - that they have a limited following"

"And - we have it on good sources - that most of those one armed women were the victims of MEN who got their arms mixed up"

"And in conclusion" - said Pipick -"I am so proud to see the growing numbers of TWO ARM Coyote Men". -"It takes great courage to chew off both arms - And we salute them!"

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Boy Scout Oath to Be Changed -Cornhole Warning added

Original

 Campfire Cornholing is what i love about the outdoors
On my honor, I will do my best
To do my duty to God and my country and to obey the Scout Law;
To help other people at all times;
To keep myself physically strong, mentally awake and morally straight. 

New line added 

he gave me stuff and then stuck his dick in me
And to watch  out for my Scoutmaster who might be trying to cornhole me

No Gays BUT Lots of Cornholing Scoutmasters -In The Boy Scouts

On Wednesday, the LA Times reported that the files revealed a pattern of grooming behavior, in which men seduced their young victims by offering them gifts, favors, counseling and one-on-one attention. In many cases, the alleged molesters spent time alone with Scouts — a practice long discouraged by the organization and formally prohibited in 1987.
In September, The Times reported that the Boy Scouts failed to report hundreds of alleged child molesters to police and often hid the allegations from parents and the public.
Scouting officials frequently urged admitted offenders to quietly resign and helped many cover their tracks, allowing them to cite bogus reasons for their departure.

In 80% of the 500 cases in which the Scouts were the first to learn about abuse, there is no record of Scouting officials reporting the allegations to police. In more than 100 of the cases, officials actively sought to conceal the alleged abuse or allowed the suspects to hide it, The Times found.
Nine days after that report, the Boy Scouts announced that it would conduct a comprehensive review of about 5,000 files going back to the 1940s and would report to law enforcement any cases it had not previously disclosed.
 day
Same old story - off to Church on Sunday -rape a kid on Monday - then cover it up with the help of yoyr good Christian neighbors.

'My Shopping Addiction gets me Wetter than My Husband" on Oxygen

 Shopping makes me Climax
 I get Wet thinking about shopping
Well this new series premiered on Oxygen last Monday at 11p and delivered 657,000 total viewers as well as 432,000 among A18-49, according to Nielsen.  -These viewers ought to be lined up and have their tubes tied before they bring any more future moron gal shoppers into the world.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

"Cornholing Polish Polka Party with Mollie Busta - on Family Net

Rural Media Group, Inc., comprised of RFD-TV, RURAL TV and Family Net has handed a two-year renewal to its weekly polka music program, "Mollie B Polka Polish CornHole Party" hosted by Mollie Busta.  The one-hour show highlights the nation's best polka bands and other ethnic music styles with Cornholing Competitions produced on location at music venues around the country.

  Rural CornHoling Media Group also produces the Mollie B Christmas Special taking place at RFD-TV The Theatre in Branson, MO November 11-12.  

The special will air multiple times in December on RFD-TV and RURAL TV. and feature fat Polish dancers CornHoling each other during the dance routines.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

CMT and Steve Austin bring back "Redneck CornHole Island"

Saturday nights on CMT brings back a second season of Redneck CornHole Island starting November 10 at 9p followed by the premieres of two new series Chainsaw Gang at 10p and Big Texas Heat at 1030p.  

"Redneck Cornhole Island" watches as fourteen people gather on pro wrestling hall of famer Steve Austin's tropical island for a chance to win $100,000 by Cornholing the most native people and animals -and then each other. 

Chainsaw Gang features chainsaw artist Stacy Poitras who leads a group of chainsaw artists that battle it out to create works of redneck shit art.  New series Big Texas Heat follows the on and off-duty activities of the police department in the small town of Trinity, TX where all the Police have IQ's under 85 and BMI's of 160 and up. (slightly above the average for all of Texas)

Monday, October 15, 2012

Butt Fucking Time for The Poor if The Republicans Prevail

All comprehensive economic studies forecast a future of exacerbating inequality (as an ever-increasing share of declining productivity growth goes to the top), the wealthy are acutely aware that the political threat to their status and comfort would come from rising popular demand for policies of income redistribution

The Republican Party is determined to protect the Bush tax cuts; to prevent tax hikes; to further cut domestic social spending; and, more broadly, to take a machete to the welfare state.
"The Poor are like Sheep"Ann Romney
Insofar as Republicans prevail in their twin aims of cutting – or even eliminating – social spending, and maintaining or lowering tax rates, they will have succeeded in obstructing the restoration of social insurance programs in the future.

Affluent Republicans – the donor and policy base of the conservative movement — are on red alert. They want to protect and enhance their position in a future of diminished resources. What really provokes the ferocity with which the right currently fights for regressive tax and spending policies is a deeply pessimistic vision premised on a future of hard times. 

This vision has prompted the Republican Party to adopt a preemptive strategy that anticipates the end of growth and the onset of sustained austerity – a strategy to make sure that the size of their slice of the pie doesn’t get smaller as the pie shrinks.
This is the underlying and inadequately explored theme of the 2012 election.

American Family Association is OUR Christian Taliban

The Southern Poverty Law Center recently added the American Family Foundation to its national list of active hate groups, which also includes neo-Nazis, black separatists and Holocaust deniers.

 The swirl around Mix It Up at Lunch Day whose objective is to relieve tensions and increase harmony among students reflects a deeper battle between the Southern Poverty Law Center, a civil-rights group founded 41 years ago in Montgomery, Ala.,  

The American Family Association,  isa Bible-based cultural watchdog organization in Tupelo, Miss. The association says its mission is to fight what it calls the “increasing ungodliness” in America and that Mix It Up Day will bring "godly" kids into contact with "ungodly kids"
 

You just know when a group or individual starts talking about "increasing ungodliness" that the hypocrites and morons and hater demigogues are on the loose again.

Scariest thing about it is that these bible belting American Mullahs  pass that crap brainwashing Dogma down onto THEIR kids who just keep the crap flowing from generation to generation.

BUT -some good news -their numbers are diminishing as more and more of their offspring realize through the fog of their indoctrination that their parents are just fucking mean - ignorant - zealots! 

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Obama says to Michelle Post Debate -'I'm just fed up with those Fucking Phony Lying Rich Cocksuckers""

WOW! Said NBC Senior Political Reporter for NBC after hearing the tape of Obama's post debate conversation with Michelle -who called her husband a "fucking Uncle Tom Nigga" for his performance.

"I wish he would have said that in the debate " said Todd "He would be ahead by 20 points right now!"

The tape revealed that after Michelle let him have it Obama replied:

"Shut your trap and go fuck with your diet shit and leave me alone!"

He went on: "You know i am fucking human -and i have to listen to these super wealthy Robber Barons like that phony fucking Romney - Mormon hedge fund  killer  of the 47%   - and sometimes i just want to reach out and fucking pull out his $500 haircut and kick him in his balls (except he probably has none)

Next week i am gonna tell folks "You want these fuckers to continue butt fucking you to get even richer? -Then vote for those two lying douchebags!"

"Romney/Ryan."


Friday, October 12, 2012

Marvel Comics releases "Dildo Man" NEW Super Hero

"DildoMan"will be able to fly and is invisible and can penetrate any space and has a giant Penis!" said Moishe Pipick -president of development for Marvel comics.

"And speaking of penetration" he continued - "Dildo Man's mission is to penetrate and bring pleasure to women all over the world who are frustrated and in need of orgasmic relief"

 "We at Marvel believe that Dildo Man is the next gen in Super Heroes!"

Pipick concluded: 'He's Superman with a big cock!"


Thursday, October 11, 2012

Paul Ryan -The Missing Link - Proof for Darwin

Look closely
 same eyes and mouth

NRA says Whites (only) Should Own Flame Throwers and Artillery

This from the wimpy NY Times said NRA honcho Clem Snout:

"What is the matter with us? Are we really helpless in the face of the astounding toll that guns take on this society? 

More than 30,000 people die from gunfire every year. Another 66,000 or so are wounded, which means that nearly 100,000 men, women and children are shot in the United States annually. Have we really become so impotent as a society, so pathetically fearful in the face of the extremists, that we can’t even take the most modest of steps to begin curbing this horror? 

Where is the leadership? We know who’s on the side of the gun crazies. Where is the leadership on the side of sanity? 

For starters, assault weapons should be banned. Their raison d’être is to kill the maximum number of people — people, not animals — in the shortest amount of time"

"Well that's just a bunch of liberal crapola" said Clem Snout the NRA president"
He continued, "The more firepower in the hands of white American's the better - and i mean even kinda weirdy WHITE Americans! -- If a few folks get nailed along the way well that's just like my Momma used to to say:

"Clem -if you wanna make an Omelete you gotta break a few eggs"

Mr. Snout continued" "Matter of fact we need WHITE America to wake the fuck up and start investing in REAL firepower because when the Jews and Africans and Mexy's and homo's start swarmin all over us it's gonna take some Howitzers to set em back on their asses"


"It's like Sarah always says -"Don't retreat --RELOAD!" said Stout "AND i don't see nothin in the Constitution says a white American caint own a Howitzer or even a flame thrower -or mount a set of quad fifties on his pickup truck"

"Next year the NRA will seek legislation to REQUIRE every White man (non Jews or Homos)) to carry a gun at all times except when he's humpin his old lady and then SHE has to have one handy and keep one eye peeled for trouble"
'Vigilance is the answer" concluded President Snout.

Tuesday, October 09, 2012

Lifetime Announces "My Pussy is Way Too Big and Hairy"

 save a tree -eat a HAIRY Beaver
Lifetime - The network for female morons has announced it's first game show with 'My Pussy is Way too Big and Hairy" where women who qualify will be involved in a before and after contest where excercizes and shaving reconfigure the winner's pussy into a tighter and more comley beaver.

Male judges will all be professional comics who will provide running commentary with the action.

VP Programming Shirley heimovitz said: "this is another breakthrough in the way Lifetime provides it's huge female audience with programming that is entertaining and relevent to their hectic lives"

Monday, October 08, 2012

Columbus Was a Mass Murderer - Worse Than Hitler


"After his fourth and final voyage to the Americas, Columbus summed up his feelings about gold in a July 7, 1503, letter to Ferdinand and Isabella: "Gold is most excellent; gold is treasure, and he who possesses it does all he wishes to in this world." [2]
After Turning Out the Jews
Beyond profits, Columbus sought to convert native people to Catholicism. In the prologue to his journal of the first voyage, Columbus wrote to Ferdinand and Isabella:
"YOUR HIGHNESSES, as Catholic Christians and Princes who love the holy Christian faith, and the propagation of it, and who are enemies to the sect of Mahoma [Islam] and to all idolatries and heresies, resolved to send me, Cristóbal Colon, to the said parts of India to see the said princes ... with a view that they might be converted to our holy faith … Thus, after having turned out all the Jews from all your kingdoms and lordships ... your Highnesses gave orders to me that with a sufficient fleet I should go to the said parts of India .... I shall forget sleep, and shall work at the business of navigation, so that the service is performed." [3]
  
The Enslavement of Native People

 Let's stop honoring this fucking animal who slaughtered and tortured for the Spanish Empire and The Church -to supply their greed for gold and power and Imperialism.

Sunday, October 07, 2012

Ann Romney says We Got To See The Real Phony Asshole her Husband REALLY is

PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. (AP) — Ann Romney says she's glad people watching the first presidential debate have finally been able to see her husband, Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney as the flip flopping phony who will say anything to get elected

Speaking Sunday before she introduced her husband, Mrs. Romney says people got to see the former Massachusetts governor as someone who could not give a flying fuck about common folks and is just a power hungry super wealthy drone — and that Americans will be able to see him display that quality again and again when he gets elected.

That's very comforting Ann!

Saturday, October 06, 2012

Pope's Butler says "The Vatican is one BIG HOMO Whorehouse"

 i lika to wack offa in Confession
Gabriele was accused of stealing the pope's private correspondence and passing it on to journalist Gianluigi Nuzzi, whose book revealed the intrigue, petty infighting and allegations of corruption and homosexual liaisons that plague the leadership of the Roman Catholic Church.

But nothing really new - homo Priests fucking children and each other night and day  - lying and cheating and bullying - abuse of Nun's who try and reform The Church - exploitation of innocents -  racial and ethnic intolerence -anti science pogroms - misuse of funds yadadadada:

Google announces "'Telepathy App " - Communications Revolution

Telepathy (from the Greek τηλε, tele meaning "distant" and πάθη, pathe meaning "affliction, experience")[3] is the supposed transmission of information from one person to another without using any of our known sensory channels or physical interaction.

"Just think of an image or compose a message in your head and off it goes to your recipient" said Professor Heinrich Pipick  -Dr of Neurology at Berne University in Switzerland and head of Google's Research Group in Parapsychology -talking about the new Telepathy App.


He went on:"The App requires a small incision into the skull for the insertion of a tiny neuronic battery which allows for the sender and receiver to control and direct their thoughts - they need to be on the SAME telepathic frequency and have a pre send editing function or communications would get out of control:"

"Like how" said digibandit Science Bureau Chief - Elise Mandelbaum:

"Like for example your husband might be sending you a message that he will be late for dinner and along with it would be his thought - "Oh boy i can't wait to fuck Irene before i head home tonight to that fucking naggy Elise." said Dr. Pipick.

Elise replied; " Oh yeah - and he might hear me thinking - "take your time honey bun i can't wait to suck your best friend's cock before you arrive - you fat fuck!"

Dr. Pipick said; "You nailed it Elise -there ARE some dangers here like with all new revolutionary scientific breakthroughs."

"Oh -and Elise - don't forget you also don't want to Telepathically send him a MENTAL picture of you blowing his best friend -ha ha ha"



Friday, October 05, 2012

Casting Call for new Fox Reality Show - Become a Star

Casting Call: ITZ Media Group is now casting for two reality shows on behalf of two major cable networks: the first show is seeking Spanish "Kardashian" type families featuring three or more sisters who are fun, confident and sexy and love to suck cocks. 

And it would be great if your parents or step parents live near you; Florida is the ideal location but not necessary.  Please send photos, bios and brief descriptions of your lives with your sisters, your occupations and if you own a porno company or are starting a porno  business and how many men you are willing to have anal sex with in two hours..  

Similar to Mob Wives, the second show is seeking women who are in some way related to Cartels  this could be wives, girlfriends, mistress', daughters, moms, cousins, etc. The show is seeking strong and opinionated women who have been convicted of assault and battery and charged with murder. 

Please send nude photos and a bio including how you are related to or are friends with members of a cartel.  Applicants for both shows can send emails to: digibandit@foxtv.com

Thursday, October 04, 2012

Zombie Bees used by Mormon Hit Team to Disable Obama

Zombie bees, we are told, are listless shells of their animated selves that bump around in the night without direction after being taken over by a parasite.  

An alien  poison — took over President Obama during Wednesday’s presidential debate.

Romney was loaded with the Mormon equivalent of Red Bull, and it showed.

I think The Mormon Alien Hit Team nailed Obama! 

With Zombie Bee Poison!

Obama Drugged By Team Romney Before The Debate

Remember those fight movies where the bad guys slip something into the heroes water bucket or they mess with gloves or they rub shit into his eyes?

Well - my conviction is that some Mormon Hit Team was assigned to slip Obama what we used to call a "Mickey" way back when.

A "Mickey" was something you slipped into your date's drink to make her willing to "put out" in the pre-pill era before chicks offered up blow jobs on their I Phones in bars like they were handshakes ( which -don't get me wrong i consider extreme cultural enlightenment).

Anyway -back to "Mickey"  - i think both candidates should be drug tested before and after these debates -and i'll bet you us pathetic 47%ers won't be surprised to find out:

Obama was drugged!


Wednesday, October 03, 2012

Romney Watching Downton Abbey for Debate Motivation says Ann Romney

" Mitty has been watching episode after episode as he prepares his mind set for the debate with Obama." said Ann Romney.

"I said to him -Now Willard Mitt Romney you just stop watching all those Downton Abbey episodes and study up on your budget numbers which you keep getting all mixed up."

"Mitty said" -"Now Ann -you just go and play with your fucking million dollar Horsey that i bought you -These Downton Abbey shows keep me reminded about the difference between us and all that scummy 47% of the population - those loafers and morons!"

Ann concluded; "Mitty can be very headstrong when he makes up his mind one way or the other and back and forth and so on?"