xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#'. The Digibandit: May 9, 2008

Friday, May 09, 2008

Natalie Portman Has Never Sucked A Cock Say's COLA Report

In an astonishing revelation -- Dr. Libowitz announced today:


"We scanned a photo of Natalie from her latest file and lo and behold -she has NEVER had a cock pass between her lips: according to the Cock Over Lips Analyzer (COLA) system."


"We contacted Natalie by phone in Africa and she told us the following:"


"First of all i think the COLA system is definitely going to upen up a new sense of spirituality in human relationships - and i am very proud to have it scientifically confirmed -- that i have never sucked a cock"



She continued; "First of all i am so tired of my dates begging me to go down on them == and crying that they think i must have sucked off a million guys - so why not them?"



"Secondly -- i think that oral sex is the ultimate display and commitment of intimacy, and i am saving it for a very special guy -and then -believe you me - he will be one happy dude."



She concluded -- "However -- I sure am happy that there is no such thing as a CIA (Cock In Ass) scanner system -- heh heh."



Dr. Libowitz was later asked about developing a modified COLA system to scan assholes and measure how many times a person has been cornholed?



He responded; "Yep -natalie is right on the money and we are in development on it, Say -Natalie had a great name suggestion -CIA system - i like that CIA acronym! -(It's kinda like the real CIA assholes- heh heh)."



"Well thanks Natalie - the only problem with the CIA (Cocks In Ass) System is - that it will be much harder to get the photographs"

Send us a photo of your asshole and we will test scan it.



"But it's definitely coming!"