xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#'. The Digibandit: Dec 8, 2008

Monday, December 08, 2008

Please Please Obama - Give Us Some Cheap Booze - To Tide Us Over

— The anniversary of the repeal of prohibition should perhaps be celebrated not with cocktails, but, following the example of H.L. Mencken, with a glass of some alcohol-free fluid, preferably someplace where you’d rather be drinking something stronger — to remind you of how pleasant, indeed life-enhancing alcohol can be, and to sympathize with the people who used to be dry and those who still are.


For hooch has the power to inspire, to console, to make celebrations brighter, and hard times more bearable. In the words of the Roman poet Horace, drink “unlocks secrets, bids hopes be fulfilled, thrusts the coward onto the battle-field, takes the load from anxious hearts. The flowing bowl — whom has it not made eloquent? Whom has it not made free even amidst pinching poverty?”



So - in these hard times that have fallen upon us - i say to Obama - give us a fast fix! -Something to tide us over until your programs take effect.



How about an elimination of the exhorbitant booze taxes - so we can afford to buy cheap whiskey during these terrible times?



If your wife needs a masechtomy but there's no insurance - and your school has eliminated the special autism classes for your kids - and they have come for your house and car - and you are jobless and begging for change down in front of the local Walmart - and your wife and teenage daughter are turning tricks for food - and you had to eat your dogs - and worst of all there is no TV because they turned off the Cable - and your Mom died and there's no burial money so she's in the garage on ice - and your son is locked up for mugging an old lady in the park ........



Well -what the hell -twist the neck off a bottle of cheap whiskey and down four fingers of it with a beer chaser - and the world will look just fine and okey dokey - tomorrow's another day - just keep a hangin in there until Obama sets thing right again!

Let's drink our way through these awful times -the Russians did it for fifty years.





U.S Should Sell It's Prison Inmates To Foreign Countries

California’s prisons are at nearly double capacity, and a three-judge panel could order the state to release tens of thousands of prisoners

The United States has, for instance, 2.3 million criminals behind bars, more than any other nation, according to data maintained by the International Center for Prison Studies at King’s College London.

Well --not only should the USA establish a "Criminal Military Corp" as recommended in my previous blogs - But - since we would have so many criminals left over ( who are unfit for combat) -- let's just sell them!:

Moishe Pipick, head of the US Bureau of Prisons said; "We outsource most manufacturing and a ton of business services -- and even personal secretaries and tax and legal work, and you name it to India and China -- Why not our huge and growing prison population?"

He continued; "It costs almost thirty thousand dollars a year to keep our criminals behind bars - hell -- China says they will take in the whole lot and pay us ten thousand a piece - and we figure some countries could come in for even more:"

He continued; "The African union is desperate for psychopaths to replace the dwindling number of young children in their armies. (who are dying off from starvation and aids)."

"We are talking about billions of dollars in savings to the US taxpayer here - and i'll betcha that the prospect of doing your time over in a third world country planting yams and getting cornholed regularly by some leper - will cut down on crime considerably."

He concluded; "And -the way those countries treat their prisoners I'll bet most of em won't be coming back home to restart their lives of crime."

Outsourcing is a beautiful thing! - And outsourcing and getting paid for it --is a no brainer!