xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#'. The Digibandit: May 19, 2012

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Chen Guangchen Went Blind From Masturbating Over Charlize Theron

Chen Guangcheng quickly announced that he had gone blind from masturbating over smuggled pictures of Charliz Theron! 




The Chinese dissident who escaped house arrest and sought refuge at the American Embassy in Beijing, landed at Newark Liberty International Airport on Saturday, ending a fraught diplomatic drama that threatened to disrupt relations between China and the United States. 

Chen said at a press conference in NYC today:""Ever since i was a teenager i dreamed of her and i could not stop masturbating and that is how i went blind."


 He further stated: "President Obama and Madam Secretary Hillary promised me if i defected Charlize would be happy to fulfill my life's desire and ambition"


He concluded;  "Chinese girls are smart but fat and stinky and short with shitty feet!"


I am happy to give my eyes for Charlize!