xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#'. The Digibandit: Sep 19, 2012

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Arab Muslims Suffer From Extreme Constipation - Israeli's To Help

just in -digibandit exclusive breaking news - - Israel May Drop Stool Softeners Over Middle East

 ONE good Dump please Allah
 A  study designed to analyze the roots of violence in the Arab Muslim World has concluded that eighty-nine percent of this group suffer from extreme constipation.

"Dr Moishe Pipick stated " these folks are literally REALLY JUST FULL of SHIT! -- and you don't have to be a Rocket Scientist to know how that can affect your behavior 

AND the attitude and actions of their violent Religious leaders is exacerbated  in a culture where most people BELIEVE their bullshit (oops a pun)) "

"And" said Dr. Pipick -'The Mullahs are very fond of Humus which can REALLY clog you up."

 Stooly Airlift
President Obama responded by saying: "If taking a good dump will help these folks chill out  -then lets drop a whole shit-load (forgive the pun) of Stooly Softeners on the Region ".

Tom Friedman,reknowned columnist for The New York Times and respected authority on the Middle East said: "So that's it! - I have spent twenty five years trying to analyze and figure out what's wrong with these people and here we have it, and NOW it makes perfect sense -- they just need to take a good shit -- especially the Mullahs."

ps  Khomeini and Ahmadinejad have not had a good movement since last March according to the study when there seemed to be a sign of some SOFTENING (oops)

Chris Christie and New Jersey are BOTH Porkers Now

  Fat Fucking loud mouth Gov. Chris Christie of New Jersey rose to stardom in the national Republican Party by promoting himself as a fiscal conservative willing to make the “hard choices” to restore sound budgeting to his state.
Todd Heisler/The New York Times
While addressing the Republican National Convention in Tampa, Fla., last month, Gov. Chris Christie no longer spoke of a “New Jersey Comeback.”
WELL -So much for that bullshit

But for much of the last year, Democrats and independent budget analysts have argued that his current budget was built on wishful thinking, and assumed that the state’s lagging economy would grow faster than that of almost anywhere else in the nation. In his typical blunt style, Mr. Christie dismissed those doubters as “rooting for failure.”
On Tuesday, his frequent assertions of a “New Jersey Comeback” came under fresh scrutiny, this time from Standard & Poor’s, which downgraded the state’s financial outlook to negative from stable.
The ratings agency said it lowered its outlook because it believed the governor’s revenue projections for the current fiscal year were overly optimistic, warning that the budget was structurally unsound. In particular, the agency took note of the administration’s reliance on one-time transfers of money to fill gaps in the state’s $32 billion budget. At the same time, it noted that the state will have to spend more in the coming years to meet pension and Medicaid obligations.

Proof That Jesus was Married Emerges -Vatican is Fucked Now!

CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — A historian of early Christianity at Harvard Divinity School has identified a scrap of papyrus that she says was written in Coptic in the fourth century and contains a phrase never seen in any piece of Scripture: “Jesus said to them, ‘My wife ...’ ”
Evan McGlinn for The New York Times
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/09/19/us/historian-says-piece-of-papyrus-refers-to-jesus-wife.html?nl=todaysheadlines&emc=edit_th_20120919#h[CMACMA]Professor Karen L. King, in her office at  Harvard Divinity School, held a fragment of papyrus that she says was written in Coptic in the fourth century and contains a reference to Jesus' wife.
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The faded papyrus fragment is smaller than a business card, with eight lines on one side, in black ink legible under a magnifying glass. Just below the line about Jesus having a wife, the papyrus includes a second provocative clause that purportedly says, “she will be able to be my disciple.”
The finding was made public in Rome on Tuesday at the International Congress of Coptic Studies by Karen L. King, a historian who has published several books about new Gospel discoveries and is the first woman to hold the nation’s oldest endowed chair, the Hollis professor of divinity.
The provenance of the papyrus fragment is a mystery, and its owner has asked to remain anonymous. Until Tuesday, Dr. King had shown the fragment to only a small circle of experts in papyrology and Coptic linguistics, who concluded that it is most likely not a forgery. But she and her collaborators say they are eager for more scholars to weigh in and perhaps upend their conclusions.
Even with many questions unsettled, the discovery could reignite the debate over whether Jesus was married, whether Mary Magdalene was his wife and whether he had a female disciple. These debates date to the early centuries of Christianity, scholars say. But they are relevant today, when global Christianity is roiling over the place of women in ministry and the boundaries of marriage.
The discussion is particularly animated in the Roman Catholic Church, where despite calls for change, the Vatican has reiterated the teaching that the priesthood cannot be opened to women and married men because of the model set by Jesus.
Dr. King gave an interview and showed the papyrus fragment, encased in glass, to reporters from The New York Times, The Boston Globe and Harvard Magazine in her garret office in the tower at Harvard Divinity School last Thursday.
She repeatedly cautioned that this fragment should not be taken as proof that Jesus, the historical person, was actually married. The text was probably written centuries after Jesus lived, and all other early, historically reliable Christian literature is silent on the question, she said.
But the discovery is exciting, Dr. King said, because it is the first known statement from antiquity that refers to Jesus speaking of a wife. It provides further evidence that there was an active discussion among early Christians about whether Jesus was celibate or married, and which path his followers should choose.
“This fragment suggests that some early Christians had a tradition that Jesus was married,” she said. “There was, we already know, a controversy in the second century over whether Jesus was married, caught up with a debate about whether Christians should marry and have sex.”
Dr. King first learned about what she calls “The Gospel of Jesus’s Wife” when she received an e-mail in 2010 from a private collector who asked her to translate it. Dr. King, 58, specializes in Coptic literature, and has written books on the Gospel of Judas, the Gospel of Mary of Magdala, Gnosticism and women in antiquity.