Wiilliam Bigturd, an American Indian septic tank cleaner in Hollywood announced at a press conference held by creative Artists Agency today at the Polo Lounge in Beverly Hills: "Yep -- it's true! - iv'e been cleaning out the septic tanks of the Stars for many moons and i have saved and catalogued their "Star Shit" with it's DNA -- along with the shit my ancestors have saved -- we have been in the septic business since the early days of Hollywood -- my Grandfather,Johnny Bigdump, always kept a bowl of Tonto's shit in the living room. (Lone Ranger's sidekick for younger readers) "
Moishe Pipick,head of liscencing for CAA said; "If Dame Judy Dench can get 2million for her pussy hair -- how much will people pay for an original John Wayne dump or a freshly minted Brad and Angela,or for a beauty from say Curt Cobain?"
The Hollywood Reporter blared "There's Gold In Them Thar Hills"- Star Shit gold in the Hollywood Hills that is and it reported that septic tank wars have erupted in Memphis as a Shit Gold Rush has created a frenzy to obtain the Holy Grail of turds -- a blast from the King himself.
CAA said "Christy's elite auction house will be the exclusive seller of the Star Shit ." and Mit Grimes, head auctioneer at Christy's said today ; "An authenticated Star Shit could sell for more than a Picasso -- the ultimate statement about American culture!"
And the Bandit has it on good authority that entrepreneurial gynecologists in LA may have been stockpiling "Star Sperm" --what is next? -- stay tuned!
(copyright lawyers should have a field day as well as firms who will be rushing to install secure shit facilities).
find out if they have anything from the woman who played maude- i'd pay top dollar for that crap- literally.
ReplyDeleteI would pay a King's ransom for Charles Laughtons dump.
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