xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#'. The Digibandit: Feb 25, 2009

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

American's Who Get Bailout Aid Should Not Eat Ice Cream

Or drink soda or beer - or any booze - or eat any desert - or watch or rent movies - or use disposable diapers - or buy toys - and NO unecessary travel - and absolutely no unprotected sex - no caffeine - no premium cable -no unecessary recreation - you want excercise go for a walk>



Hey - We solvent American's who saved for a rainy day do not want to pay for your Obama freeebies!

At least the wall street folks and bankers who fucked us get some business return on their business partying -but you greedy losers are still spending your way deeper into this shithole - on crap and crapola you don't absolutely need - believing us suckers will bail you out.

Well wer'e pissed - and we ants don't want to pay for your grasshopper lifestyles anymore.

Oh - and no more lottery cards - and coffee - and drugs - and even premium toilet paper - and text messeging fees - or high speed cable (go to the library) -And no more video games and itunes and...



Hey - your'e on the fucking dole - you don't get any more goodies you can't afford (or need)!

Just like the bankers and insurance and car companies and all those bums that are on the dole - your right in the shithole next to them!

Get a big shovel and start digging - the rest of us are tired of bailing you out!


And no more haircuts and beauty parlor bullshit - get a scissors!

Oh -and buy some candles!





Have a giant yard sale - sell all your unecessary crap and spend your Obamadollars frugally - only on the necessities - and

Travis the Chimpanzee Was Horny and Was Murdered

Dr. Moishe Pipick -head of primate veterinary medicine at Cornell University's world renowned Ape Clinic said today:

"It's quite simple - Travis went Ape! - he was no different than a teenaged boy with his thumper ready to explode and being teased by some naughty cheerleader - EXCEPT:

"Chimps have four times the testosteronr level of a young man!"

Dr. Pipick was asked by Elise Mandelbaum - digibandit animal reporter;

"Well -Dr. Pipick - do you think that people should be allowed to own Cimpanzees? -Can it be done safely?"

Dr. Pipick replied: 'Yes! Definitely! -But -if the owner is a woman - she must be prepared to have sex with her Chimp."

"Oh - and by the way - Chimps make super sexual partners!"

He concluded; "In my professional opinion - Travis was murderd for no reason other than the ignorance of his owner -and the police."