Chinese Geneticists Discover Final Missing Link with Chimpanzees - HERSCHELHOMOTROGLODYTE “
Using a secretely acquired DNA sample from a Herschel Walker campaign appearance -Chinese geneticists are now certain that Walker’s DNA provides the holy grail of genetic discoveries -The long search for the link between Chimpanzees (Hominids) and Homo Sapiens.
Prior to this latest discovery biologists at Wayne State University School of Medicine in Detroit, Michigan, provided new genetic evidence that lineages of chimps (currently Pan troglodytes) and humans (Homo sapiens) diverged so recently that chimps should be reclassed as Homo troglodytes..
Fung Yung Chum, Head of The National Chinese Genetic Laboratory announced “AND NOW -We have absolute proof of the direct (now updated) link between THAT Homo troglodyte and Homo Sapiens - Discovered on the Y Sex Chromosome of a living species which we have named - HERSCHELHOMOTROGLODYTE “
He continued -” Chinese Political Scientists who routinely observe and study political behavior of foreign political candidates whose behavior is aberrant enough to pose a threat should they acquire political power; were horrified by observing Herschel Walker and passed their data over to us for evaluation as to possible genetic mutations that were also being observed across a large swath of politicians that had evolved in the wake of the rise of Donal Trump.”
Doctor Cum continued -”It quickly became apparent that most of these individuals ,like trump, were just your garden variety sociopaths riddled with multiple personality disorders -BUT some -Most evidently like Walker - Looked like clear candidates for DNA analysis that could potentially lead to a discovery of actual speciation mutation and a subsequent link to Homo troglodytes.”
He went on - ”As a matter of fact we are all amazed that Walker still (reportedly) has enough Homo Sapiens reproduction chromosomes to successfully mate with a normal Homo Sapiens?”
“AND - It appears to be the case it -In all our DNA GENETIC prognostications - THAT in- between two and four generations: these “HERSCHELHOMOTROGLODYTES “ will no longer be able to breed with Homo sapiens!
Doctor Cum stated - “This has enormous ramifications for societal and cultural upheavals as societies will be divided basically into Humans and advanced Chimpanzees ”
He concluded - “We are almost certain - That the recently re-elected representative Marjorie Taylor Green is also of the species “HERSCHELHOMOTROGLODYTES“
AND - That our ongoing genetic studies will show that the TOTAL population of trump supporters- Have a significant percentage of this earliest -ALMOST HUMAN SPECIES!
