Romney's Wear Mormon Underwear To Control Their Lust

Mormon's wear these undergarments because their cookoo religious leader Joesph Snith didn't want them getting too sexually worked up (while he was fucking about 70 members of his flock mostly under seventeen and mostly relatives.)

We asked Mitt Romney if he and Anne wore them and he said yes but they had to order 3x size garments for Anne.

Mitt said: "The underwear really controls my libido otherwise i would be up cornholing Anne all night long.

Clive Cornholes Tanisha In Oxygen Finale

Damn Clive -I Want THAT one

"Oxygen Fans eagerly awaiting to find out if Clive and Tanisha tie the not are in for a big shock!" said Eunice Slutinsky -head of original programming for Oxygen.

"We just wanted to shake things up a bit for our wide female audience mostly made up of fat repressed Black female morons  -SO!":

"The night before the wedding as Tanisha is getting  prepared for the happiest moment in her life -Clive crashes into her bedroom -drapes her over the couch and Cornholes her into ecstatic oblivion"

"The amazing thing is that Tanisha no longer wants to marry Clive - she's not angry:

 Clive Can't Cornhole Like Me

"She just wants to spend a while exploring  in her words the "Cornholing Zeitgeist"

Slutinsky concluded."And that should make for a very compelling next season of "Tanisha Gets Cornholed Around the World"

"Perfect for our audience and should bring some new male blood into our audience."

Dogs and Cats added to ObamaCare says Obama

"There are 82 million Dog owners and 62million Cat owners in America today -and they love them as much as any members of their families." said Obama speaking from The Rose Garden today.


"Now that The Supreme Court has approved Obamacare it is time to afford our Dogs and Cats the same level of protection AND i happen to know that Chief Justice Roberts loves his 3 Dogs and 5 Cats more than Antonin Scalia loves Pizza and  and Justice Thomas loves porn and white hookers."

"Now i know that Mitt Romney who put his Dog ,Seamus in a cage on the roof of his care when they traveled on vacation will oppose this extension of Obamacare -along with all the Dog and Cat hating Republicans BUT:"

"I know the American people are wholeheartedly with Michelle and I on this one AND don't think we don't care about ALL of your different pets out there -we are working on that!"