xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#'. The Digibandit: May 7, 2012

Monday, May 07, 2012

Romney calls Obama a 'Musnig" in Campaign Ad


"I believe in calling a Spade a Spade"  said Romney as his latest attack ad made reference to Obama being half Muslim and half N word.


Obama retaliated by calling Romney a leader of a Moron (Mormon) Sect' whose founder was a SnakeOil Salesman just like Romney.


"At this rate the presidential campaign is shaping up to be a vulgar exchange of epithets!" said VP Joe Biden and further stated:

"I think the republican party has been taken over by a bunch of stupid cocksuckers!'

"Slaughter These Fat Hogs"says Romney re Obese Americans


 Mitt Romney said today "About 32 million more Americans will become obese by 2030, upping obesity rates to 42 percent of the U.S. population, according to a new report from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
The report also predicts that the proportion of Americans who are severely obese, meaning more than 100 pounds overweight, will reach 11 percent, about double the current rate.
The report's authors give a sobering price tag for these predictions: such an increase would create $550 billion of obesity-related health care costs.
Romney said the prospect of such increasing rates, particularly those of severely obese Americans, is alarming since efforts aimed at helping people lose weight have so far proven relatively ineffective.
"Their weight continues to increase. Over the last 10 years, it has gone up tremendously," he said in a press conference. "This is a group at great risk of health complications, and yet they are increasing at an even greater rate than the rate of obesity and endangering all other Americans."
"We simply can't afford these hogs!" he said
The report was published in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine and was released at the CDC's Weight of the Nation conference today, a gathering focused on the impact of the obesity epidemic. The authors analyzed data collected from each state and made projections based on a number of factors influencing obesity rates, including the cost of healthy and unhealthy foods, gas prices and Internet access.
"If one of my kids or my Dogs got that fat i would chain them up until they got back down to normal" he said.

A reporter asked him about his wife and he said "After the election she gets the Chain treatment!"


American'Will Soon Sell Their Children To Survive -says new study


“When people view themselves as doing worse financially, then that motivates them to purchase lottery tickets,” said Dr. Moishe Pipick, a postdoctoral associate at the Yale School of Management who in July published a research paper on lotteries in The Journal of Behavioral Decision Making.

"People are getting desperate! - This lottery thing is a sure sign!" - said Pipick.
“People look to the lottery to get back to where they were financially.”
“With lottery sales at record setting sales levels – and financially strapped folks spending their kids food money to win state lotteries with astronomically ridiculous odds:

It is now only a matter of time before they will start selling their children.”


Dr. Pipick continued; “I mean – there is a better chance that Paris Hilton will crawl into some fat greasy redneck’s trailer and give him a blow job - than winning the ‘Lollapalooza Twenty Thousand Jackpot Ticket’ -- from the local market”

“I mean - his porky wife has a better chance of Antonio Banderas jumping her in the Walmart parking lot - than winning at one of these ridiculous marketing scams.”

“And - his redneck kids have a better chance – statistically - of getting into Harvard – or winning a Nobel Prize - than winning the ‘Fifty Thousand Dollar Jesus Loves You’ scratch off - at the local Stuckeys.”

“This indicates total FINANCIAL desperation on the part of many Americans!”
Pipick went on; “There is a huge market in the selling of children in all of the third world countries - and a lot of folks in The United States feel just as desperate about not being able to feed their shopping frenzies - to buy some gas or beer – or some other cheap shit, - as starving folks in Calcutta do about getting a tiny bowl of rice.”

“Hey” – he concluded – “I might just buy a lottery ticket to win a blow job from Paris Hilton?”