Fox Announces –Weekend at Bernie’s –With Ruth Madoff

Fox TV president Mike Schlocknell said today –in a press conference at the posh LA eatery - Morton’s ; “This is gonna be bigger than Idol!”

Think of it as “Weekend At Bernie’s” three ha ha ha - I mean we originally were gonna call it “Weekends With Bernie at Butner. NC Federal Detention Center” – But – this is so much hipper with it’s reference to those two iconic Bernie movies -and like them – this is kinda like a dark comedy “

He continued; ‘I met with Ruth Madoff (who bye the way is still kinda hot) and when she swept into Palm Beach last month to meet with me and discuss this show concept with a quintet of girlfriends, her $7,500 Birkin bag dangling, and with her husband’s 74-year-old sister, who was ruined by Bernie’s scam, who is now watering plants and driving people to the airport just to make ends meet:

I knew we had the beginnings of a winner!

I mean broken victims owed millions in her husband's suspected Ponzi scheme are fighting for pennies on the dollar, but Ruth Madoff says $62 million she squirreled away is none of their business.

Ruthy has an E. 64th St. apartment, valued at $7 million, as well as $45 million in municipal bonds controlled by Cohmad Securities and $17 million in a Wachovia account.

.Ruth Madoff has never been criminally charged in her husband's alleged fraud, but federal investigators continue to probe others who may have had a hand in a $50 billion Ponzi scheme that's been called the largest in the nation's history.”

Schlocknell continued:”And –she knows where ALL the bodies are buried! - Just think of the drama as she sits with Bernie –shows family videos – talks with Bernie’s two hated sons Mark and Andrew –– meets with the victims oye vey i'm having an an orgasm!”

He went on; 'And that stuff is only the beginning of the TV friendly stuff that's gonna GUSH from this show - I mean -this is the stuff that American;s DREAM of watching!"

Schlocknell concluded; "I mean - you talk about schadenfraude - There will be thirty million American's tuned into this show screaming -The fucking Jews finally got it up the ass! -Fuck em! - Look at these two fucking Hebes! - What a fucking Jewish Princess whore that Ruth Madoff is! - Look at that tan on that fucking Jew Madoff will ya! -

Get me another beer Martha! -And tell the kids to shut the fuck up- i can't here what she's saying!"

Russia Tied With Frazier Park CA. - In Alcohol Consumption

Russians consume roughly 4.75 gallons of pure alcohol a person annually, more than double the level that theWorld Health Organization considers a health threat. The consumption figure for the United States is about 2.3 gallons.

The country will have difficulty resolving its demographic crisis — its population is predicted to drop nearly 20 percent by 2050 — if it does not confront its alcohol problem. Life expectancy for Russian men is now 60 years, in part because of alcoholism.

Researchers studying mortality in three industrial cities in Siberia in the 1990s found that in several years, alcohol was the cause of more than half of all deaths of people ages 15 to 54, often from accidents, violence or alcohol poisoning, according to a report this year in The Lancet, a London-based medical publication.

The Public Chamber, a Kremlin advisory panel, has asserted that roughly 500,000 people die annually in Russia from causes directly related to or aggravated by alcohol.

But Frazier Park CA. Still leads in obesity and spousal and pet abuse.