xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#'. The Digibandit: Excessive Masturbation Affects Troop Performance

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Excessive Masturbation Affects Troop Performance

Extremely horny American servicemen in Iraq are ; "beatin their meat so much they can't move as fast as they should -- it's difficult when you are chafed and raw and it's not like their wearing designer briefs, and the heat and the sand on top of that -- i'm amazed they can even walk at all", said General Petrayus at a Pentagon briefing with the President yesterday.

"This is the first war in US history where a soldier can't go out and get some local pussy or go to a whore house". -- "The Mullahs keep all the pussy to themselves and don't allow any sex and even if you could find a loose Iraqi women she'd look like your grandmother covered with a black tent" -- He further stated "No wonder these insurgents are so nuts -- they haven't gotten laid since their wedding night".

Asked by the President whether our female troopers couldn't pick up the slack; the General stated: "Hell theyr'e working overtime! Some of them are so bow legged that they waddle around like ducks and most of them just service each other."