xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#'. The Digibandit: Dec 28, 2007

Friday, December 28, 2007

Play New "Wack Off Or Scratch Off" Lottery Game - Win Sex

Starting in march – in Texas –which has the highest number of scratch off lottery players in the country (mostly poor and uneducated minorities) – those players will be able to win blow jobs and various (and all) varieties of sex acts.

Buck Beefy - the head of the Texas Lottery Association, said in a press conference today; “ The tasty sex offerings will be cross genderized and offer mult-racial and ethnic and even sex with disabled hookers in wheel chairs.” (no illegals allowed of course – heh heh)

A fifty dollar winning ticket will get you a pretty fair piece of ass (a hunnert dollar prize will be a REAL tasty deal) - and for just ten dollars you can get a hand job or a good lickin from, say, old widow Munson down behind the truck stop on I95 – heh – heh”

“Oh –almost forgot – there will be grand prize winners - like a five-hundred dollar hit will get some lucky man or woman or combo (heh heh) a weekend in Dallas with Britney Spears and/or Rush Limbaugh –you might say they’ll be a livin in high Oxycotin – heh heh,”

“You can even pick from a group of those young whores that are all over MySpace (Fox just loves the cross promotion and that some off the lottery proceeds go to the State education fund) –That Rupert Murdoch is a real swell feller.and if this ‘Sex Scratch Off” thang get’s a goin good, he said they will make it into a reality show”

"Scratch Off or Wack Off?" -“ Now that’s A surefire reality show hit for Fox TV -Texas should bring in a pile of dough for their schools - and those young sluts on MySpace will make a lot of new friends.

What a country!

United States To Outsource Prison Population

Well it looks like - if you break the law in the good ole USA -You will do your time in some Foreign country. Maybe India or China if your lucky - but it could just as easily be the Congo or Somalia - or whoever makes the lowest bid to keep you in captivity.

And with a new report showing that one out of one-hundred people in the good ole USA are doin some kind of jail time - this plan comes just intime to help our hurtin economy.



"Jules Hymovitz,head of the US Bureau of Prisons said; "We outsource most manufacturing and a ton of business services -- and even personal secretaries and tax and legal work, and you name it to India and China -- well - why not our huge and growing prison population?"



He continued; "It costs almost thirty thousand dollars a year to keep our criminals behind bars - hell -- China says they will take in the whole lot for ten thousand a piece - and we figure some countries could come in for under five thousand (and if the liberals don't squawk we could probably get some countries to pay us for these folks )"



"Wer'e talking about billions of dollars in savings to the US taxpayer - and i'll betcha that the prospect of doing your time over in a third world country planting yams and getting cornholed regularly by some leper - will cut down on crime considerably."

He concluded; "And -the way those countries treat their prisoners I'll bet most of em won't be coming back home to restart their lives of crime."

Outsourcing is a beautiful thing!