xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#'. The Digibandit: Jun 19, 2010

Saturday, June 19, 2010

First Father's Day Began With A Blow Stick

Historians have recorded that there was a tradition to celebrate Father's Day even thousands of years ago. Their study say that 4,000 years ago in Babylon a son called Elmesu carved a father's day message on a clay card. In his message Elmesu wished his father a long and healthy life. There is no knowledge as to what happened to this father son duo but it is believed that several countries retained the custom of celebrating Father's Day.

Well - if you believe that i have a nice cabin in Kyrgestan i can sell you cheap.

About 60 thousand years ago after eons of men shtupping anything that moved and then moving on -like:

"So what you have a little one -what's that got to do with MY shtupping -and anyway -how does shtupping result in that little one? Go prove it (ancestor to first Jewish lawyer?)"

See -the cause and effect of shtupping resulting in a child -let alone YOUR child - was not figured out yet.

Well one day this cave woman Mildred tries something original and sneaks into the cave where Oorgy her main shtupper was sleeping and she gives him a present that the Tribal Witch and Healer - Esther Pipick - told her about:

A blow stick! - Which no one had dared tried before except Odin who blew stick the wrong guy and wound up with his skull bashed in -anyway -back to Mildred and Oorgy and Esther Pipick the Witch.

See -Esther had first discovered the blow stick when one night she was blowing on a stick with meat on it to cool it off -and being a witch she came up with the concept for the First blow JOB when Oorgy - sitting across from her at the fire ring - reacted to her blowing on the stick by having HIS weiner stick protrude out of his loincloth by ten inches ( see-HE didn't know why but Esther put stick and dick together right away.

WELL -when Oorgy comes too after his blow stick experience -he says "Holy shit Mildred -what the fuck was that? -I want more!"

And Mildred says "Well you gave me a baby from your shtupping and THAT was your Father's Day gift"

And Oorgy replied "Oh yeah! -that's MY son allright -he's a beauty -strong and so smart -and well hung just like me -and i can't wait until NEXT Father's day"

Unfortunately with the taming of men and the rise of Christianity and sin and it's residual sexual repression - Material gifts were gradually substituted for the blow jobs by many women hence precipitating the rise in divorce and subsequent breakdown of the traditional family unit.

So you see how that first blow stick evolved into the Father's Day we celebrate today -AND - to this very day there are women who give one or less blow jobs a year -Just like Mildred.

So today let's have a moment of silence for all those fathers who will get a tie instead of a blow job.

AND give a big hip hip hooray to all those gals to whom a blow job is just another day -like a walk in the park.

But most of all a big hat's off to Esther Pipick The Witch and her first pupil --Mildred -and to Oorgy -First father and blow stick recipient.

Japs would Eat Their Mothers if They Had Fins

YOKOHAMA, Japan — “The Cove,” an Oscar-winning documentary about dolphin hunting in Japan, would seem to be a natural fit for movie theaters here, but so far the distributor has yet to find a single one that will screen the film.

The New York Times

Many of the scenes in “The Cove” were filmed in Taiji.

And if Shuhei Nishimura and his compatriots on Japan’s nationalist fringe have their way, none ever will.

In a country that shudders at disharmony and remains wary of the far right’s violent history, the activists’ noisy rallies, online slanders, intimidating phone calls and veiled threats of violence are frightening theaters into canceling showings of “The Cove,” which not only depicts dolphin hunting in an unflattering light but also warns of high levels of mercury in fish, a disturbing disclosure in this seafood-loving nation.

DR. Moishe Pipick head of the World Marine Life Institute in Berne ,Switzerland said today:

"The Japs think that eating sea food will make them taller and give them Caucasian sized weiners -So -they are slowly but surely destroying many species of Ocean fish and mammals -including endangered whales and tuna and swordfish"


Dr.Pipick then answered an obvious question -" "Huh!Oh yes -the women? - They think sea food will enlarge their breasts so they can attract those big Caucasian weiners"