Fox Announces -Dead Relatives With God Videos

Yep -Fox is getting into the Educational Video biz and here's a sample of their first release "Say Hi To Grandpop Up In Heaven"(Grandmom's are next because they live longer) -which is flying off the shelves this holiday season:

Videos can be personalized as follows:

"High my darling grandchildren -This is Granpa Pipick speaking to you from heaven.

'It's so beautiful and peaceful here -and i'm sitting here with God playing a nice game of checkers - and God wants to say hi;

"Hi -this is god and the reason I'm sitting here with Grandpa Pipick playing checkers and sipping iced tea - instead of him roasting for all Eternity in Hell with the Devil -is because he was a good man and he worshipped me."

"So i want you to be very good and worship me blindly no matter how horrible life treats you or how stupid that seems -or you won't get up here and be with your good -God loving loved ones

"And if you're real bad - i might just send Grandpa Pipick down to Hell just to get even. - Now here's your Grandpa again"

"Now kids - you want me to go on living like a King up here in Heaven dontcha? -So don't fuck up and get me sent down with Grandma Pipick and Uncle Abe -in Hell!"

"And the production is so inexpensive" said Elise Mandelbaum President of Fox Video.

She stated; "The religious right loonies will buy these videos by the millions - we received ten thousand videos of grandparents from these nut cases just last week so we can edit them into the finished tapes before they croak"

"Or we can just send the generic version with fake heavenly voices (with provided info re Grandpa) as soon as we receive a deposit of $49.95"

"Hey! _ isn't there a whole new potential market here? -Messages from the dead kinda stuff?" asked digibandit Hollywood reporter Yonah Shimmel.

"heh heh" Laughed Mandelbaum "And a whole new reality show series is in the works:

"Afterlife" starring dead people - playing themselves before they died - Just as if they were still alive "

Fox rules! .

USA Should Offer Prisoners A Corporate BuyOut

OK -Your serving twenty five to life or life without parole (or maybe even apply to ALL sentences?) -AND -have we got a deal for you!

We will pay your designated recipient thirty thousand dollars (tax free) - AND you will get one month at the National Prisoner Pleasure Retreat (NPPS) - located on what the Feds are calling "Eagle Island"

Think of the Eagles great song "Hotel California" with those haunting lyrics 'You can check out but you never leave'

At the conclusion of their one month stay - warm in the glow of the most georgeous and sensuous pleasure providers Uncle Sam can provide (even some female inmate hotties who will get sentence reductions for their service) - And "High as a kite bye now" (as Elton John put it):

An official slips some junk in their martini and it's painlessly over!

The good ole USA taxpayer saves 40k (ave.yearly cost for incarceration) times the number of years the prisoner would have been supported behind bars.

His poor family gets a nice bit of change.

And he goes out with a bang

Hey - It's no different than corporations who offer buyouts -and save billions - to their old and washed up employees:

EXCEPT for the stay on "Eagle Island" which is an awfully nice bonus -and:

One that i'm willing to bet most corporate buyout victims would grab in a minute if Uncle Sam stepped up to the plate with the corporations! - AND - the government would save a ton on Social Security payments. (i mean they do get the martini dessert if they accept the added option) -Options! -Just like with Medicare

"You Can check-out but you never leave"

Another breakthrough concept from the digibandit!

Even Halloween Sucks In American Schools

A memo about costume appropriateness sent home recently by Riverside Drive’s (LA) principal made the following points:

¶They should not depict gangs or horror characters, or be scary.

¶Masks are allowed only during the parade.

¶Costumes may not demean any race, religion, nationality, handicapped condition or gender.

¶No fake fingernails.

¶No weapons, even fake ones.

¶Shoes must be worn.

Joel Bishoff’s children will make the cut at Riverside Drive. His second grader will be Dorothy (not the witch!) from “The Wizard of Oz,” while his fifth-grade son will wear a costume depicting a box of Wheaties.

And then young Moishe Bishoff will go home and jump on his xbox -assume the role of a black teenage gang banger - and start slaughtering cops and old ladies for four hours.

His sister Sarah will be up in her room watching "Girls Gone Bad" while she revs up her vibrator -and Mom will be in the kitchen washing down her Xanax with a Martini while watching "Desperate Housewives of Whore Valley" -and Dad is late because he's out fucking his assistant.

So shove the Wheaties and Carrots costumes up your local school board's assholes -and get with the program.

It's Rome 500 AD baby - way to late for Goofy and Mickey Mouse - Everyday is Halloween in this fun house of a country -and you don't NEED a costume.

Happy Halloweeny!

The Vulture Compared to A Predatory Catholic Priest

i wouldn't cornhole a kid

if i could fly i would fuck Vultures

 i wouldn't fuck a Priest with your cock

 i wish you were ten years old my dear

Vultures  eat rotting flesh and defend themselves by projectile vomiting at their enemies. Throw in the fact that that they can fly, can grow to have wing spans of close to 6 feet, and grunt and hiss like giant snakes when they feel threatened, and you have an animal fashioned from the nightmares of Edgar Allen Poe, as directed by Tim Burton, in a very bad mood.

Toss in the popular notion that you only see these things when you’re alone, near death, somehow stuck walking alone through a dessert, and we’re pretty much talking about the opposite of a butterfly here.

Consider these vulture fun facts: (Spoiler alert- they are not fun).

- a vulture can eat a diseased corpse of an animal, and through its digestive system, the disease will be rendered neutral, that is to say, the vulture’s poop will be clean. Which is nice.

- the vomit of a vulture has more acidic content than acid rain, and if its incredible stench doesn’t scare away its predator, the vomit contacting the skin will actually burn it.

- vultures urinate on themselves as a method of cooling their skin and destroying bacteria that may have gotten on them while feeding on a dying, diseased animal. Sure, they could be more careful about eating, but then they wouldn't have the need to pee on themselves.

- a vulture will often begin eating an animal corpse at its anus or at its eyes. Why? Because in most cases, that is where the dead animal is most vulnerable. So, ah, take that, other animals who think they’re creepy- I’m talking to YOU- eels, tapeworms and ticks.

- vultures can smell a dead mouse under leaves at 200 feet in the sky. To put that in perspective, consider that if milk smells bad, you know immediately to not put it in your coffee- the vulture would be all like “ah, no, it’s the other way around.”

But -Remember this -A Vulture unlike a homo priest -will not fuck a nine year old Altar Boy in the tuchas.

Pope Tells Africans To Stop Fucking

On his way to Africa last month, he said the best strategy is the church's effort to promote sexual responsibility through abstinence and monogamy. -No condoms allowed! -No sport fucking!

"Hey you dysfunctional folks out there on the Dark Continent - i know your'e having trouble not chopping up everyone in sight -and you make a dollar a day - and your'e hot and dirty - and you have no toilet paper or TV or radio or socks -or even drugs -and there are flies eating up your eyeballs:

"But i -Your'e Pope - don't have a cock -so don't worry about getting laid -- i hear it's very messy!"

'If you absolutely have to stick your biga blacka dicka in something -find a young boy -lika my priests."

That Pope is quite a guy!

But they ain't listening - here's the latest statement from The Black Bishops (who would fuck any altar boy that's not armed or has advanced stage leprosy)

"The bishops did not veer from Vatican policy opposing the use of condoms to prevent the spread of H.I.V. and AIDS. “The problem cannot be overcome by the distribution of prophylactics,” they wrote. Instead, they urged abstinence among the unmarried and fidelity among the married. “Such a course of action not only offers the best protection against the spread of this disease but is also in harmony with Christian morality,” they wrote."

These guys are from another fucking planet!

Welcome Prisoners To The Congo - Bend Over!

FLORENCE, Ariz. — One of the newest residents on Arizona’s death row, a convicted serial killer named Dale Hausner, poked his head up from his television to look at several visitors strolling by, each of whom wore face masks and vests to protect against the sharp homemade objects that often are propelled from the cells of the condemned.

Multimedia

It is a dangerous place to patrol, and Arizona spends $4.7 million each year to house inmates like Mr. Hausner in a super-maximum-security prison. But in a first in the criminal justice world, the state’s death row inmates could become the responsibility of a private company.

Well here's a much better idea!

The United States Should Sell It's Prison Population

Ny Times :The United States has, for instance, 2.3 million criminals behind bars, more than any other nation, according to data maintained by the International Center for Prison Studies at King’s College London.

Moishe Pipick - head of the US Bureau of Prisons said; "We outsource most manufacturing and a ton of business services -- and even personal secretaries and tax and legal work, and you name it to India and China -- well - why not our huge and growing prison population?"

He continued; "It costs almost thirty thousand dollars a year to keep our criminals behind bars - hell -- China says they will take in the whole lot and pay us ten thousand a piece - and we figure some countries could come in for even more:"

He continued; "The African union is desperate for psychopaths to replace the dwindling number of young children in their armies. (who are dying off from starvation and aids)."

"Wer'e talking about billions of dollars in savings to the US taxpayer - and i'll betcha that the prospect of doing your time over in a third world country planting yams and getting cornholed regularly by some leper - will cut down on crime considerably."

He concluded; "And -the way those countries treat their prisoners I'll bet most of em won't be coming back home to restart their lives of crime."

Outsourcing is a beautiful thing!

Study Confirms Fox News Audience Heavily Dysfunctional

Average Fox news viewers have a thirty five percent lower IQ

85% have never read a book

27% are wife beaters (3x the national average)

69% of the women are obese and 89% of the men

86% believe Mary was a virgin

84% OF MEN GET LAID LESS THAN ONCE PER MONTH

89%of women have never performed oral sex and 99% of them have ever experienced cunnilingus.

73% of men and 85% of women are ugly and hairy

Over 60%of men AND women are alcoholics and/or druggies.

99% are Christian

Over 70% of ALL their men and Women beat their children AND their pets.

They earn 49% less income than CNN viewers.

Over half the Men AND Women are homophobes AND racists

Twelve %of Men have fucked a sheep

Fifteen % of the Women have used a cucumber

This study was extensive and Moishe Pipick president of National Data Services -a worldwide polling and statistical research organization -headquartered in Bern, Switzerland said today:

"So? - What's so surprising? -These folks are basically morons!"

Folks Now Renting Car's To Homeless

The first night after she surrendered her house to foreclosure, Sheri West endured the darkness in her rented Hyundai sedan. She parked in her old driveway, with her flower-print dresses and hats piled in boxes on the back seat, and three cherished houseplants on the floor. She used her backyard as a restroom.

American's are innovators - and with so many folks unable to make their car payments -and so many NEW homeless folks due to home foreclosures - waddya do?

You guessed it -they rent out their cars as homes! -Yep - 250 bucks a month will get ya a nice cozy space in a 1990 Hundai Sedan (trunk rights are 5 bucks a month extra) Toilet paper and yard rights are extra!

I mean -that is the spirit and energy of a free market economy that the Republican's can really be proud of.

Right up until the day - maybe coming sooner than they think -when they see the torches and pitchforks glowing and waving outside their suburban enclaves.

"Let Em Eat Cake!" said Marie Antoinette -right before the French Revolutionaries lopped off her head and the Kings -and most of the rich folks.

Fox TV Announces "Balloon Boy"

Fox Reality TV wasted no time in signing up the rights to the "Balloon Boy" Family.

Fox Television president Herb Schlockwinder announced today:

'Hey we know a great reality opportunity when we see one and this "Balloon Boy" family has got it all!"

He continued: "I mean they are dysfunctional (in a sweet way) - totally sociopathic - and are convinced that kids were put on earth to be exploited - I mean -It's ALL there!"

Digibandit Hollywood reporter Elise Mandelbaum asked Schlockwinder "What's the show about?"

"Heh! Heh! Heh!" said Schlockwinder -"Hey Elise -you are one pushy Jew! -You know i can't give that away! "But i will say you're looking great today (overheard wispering "Great Tits" to his assistant) -AND - the show will be kinda like 'The Osbournes" meets The Balloon Boy Family"

"Thanks Herb - and their perfect - and i would rather have a leper touch them than you!"

"BBBBBBBBut Elise c'mon -hey come back here (overheard saying "What a tight Jewy Ass") -I'll give you a scoop!" - says Schlockwinder.

Fox IS Reality!

Women Have Ruined America -And Castrated Men

With two thirds od all women now working -and soon to comprise over fifty percent of the workforce (up from nineteen percent in 1950 - here's the cultural impact:

The economy has completely tanked

Wages are totally depressed

Children are neglected

High school dropout rates are over forty five percent

Thirty five percent of children are obese (and adult obesity is at epidemic proportions

Men get laid thirty percent less per month and are sexually frustrated.

Spousal abuse has climbed twenty eight percent.

Divorce rates are over fifty percent -and seventy five percent of all married couples are miserable.

Twenty five percent of all men are now gay -and another thirty percent are thinking about it.

Ten percent of all men now say they would fuck a sheep.

Congratulations!

Captain Lou Albano Is Partying With The Lord!

And if everyone on Earth who did not worship him as a God were to drop dead right now -this Planet would at last be free and at peace!

No war - no oppression -no religion - no discrimination - no anger - no anxt - no uptight white people - no Muslim Arabs - no priests - no guns - no rednecks - no energy -no REAL violence.

Right now god is sitting with the Captain who has just pierced god's face with a rubberband and then threw him down with Greg Valentine's famous four legs locked hold.

And God is laughing and screaming "That's enough Lou -You crazy motherfucker you -hahahahahhaha"

First Concierge Doctors - Now Food Tasters

When it became apparent to rich folks that they had a much better chance of surviving a medical calamity if they had a team of personal physicians standing by 24/7 who were a cut above your average medical butchers -They ponied up wheelbarrows full of cash and signed on Concierge Doctors.

Hey -the rich are not stupid (spoiled -insecure and selfish) but definitely not stupid!

So - now that the chances of becoming a corpse or paralyzed after ingesting -say - a poisoned burger -or a pepper -or some lettuce that was picked by someone who just wiped his ass on his shirt -They are hiring food tasters.

Moishe Pipick -a wealthy orthodontist from Southhampton NY said: "We have an illegal named Maria who tastes everything me or my family eats -And - just last week she dropped like a fly after taking a bite of my wife's caviar with blini."

"What happened to her?" said Elise Mandelbaum -the digibandit health reporter.

"We called our concierge doctor and she was revived - but unfortunately she now has a hunchback!"

'Wow!" said Mandelbaum - But what do you think average folks can do?"

"Let em eat cake" -Replied Mrs.Antoinette Pinsky.

Nobel Gave Bush An International "Fuck You"

And when the most powerful nation on earth evolves from being run by a bible directed moron and his ideological cronies - to a competent and well balanced man with a powerful intellect - and a team of consummate professionals:

Hell yes! - That man is worthy of the Nobel Peace Prize.

The potential for human progress on a global scale has been elevated to an umprecedented degree - by the leadership style evidenced by President Obama - as compared to George W Bush.

The right wing doesn't get it -but when have they EVER been right about human progress

And the lefties are stuck as usual in a clarity numbing state of

murky misdirected idealism.

THIS is a great moment for everyone!

Thanks Alfred Nobel

Nagging Israeli Wives Push Settlement Expansion

"Abe -you good for nothing poor excuse for a Jewish husband!" - "You moved me and the kids out here in the middle of the desert -surrounded by angry goyim - in this poor excuse for a home - and you promised things would get better"

" Becky! But Becky! -you cried" -- "The land is cheap -we'll make a killing! -The goyim are morons! - For what do they need land? - It'll be ok. - You can have a nice garden and i'll build a swingset for the kinder"



"I told you then Abe -i can't live with you and four kids in a tiny place with one small bedroom and one bathroom -and no diniing area -and no laundry room" - "But - i listened to your pleading like a real schmuck."



" You promised - Becky Becky my darling - soon we'll expand - we'll make a killing! - I'll grow some nice lemons in the yard - and some cabbage for you to stuff - and the air is so clean"



"And Beckela -right over there where that bush is - that is where king David took a nice crap before he killed that giant goyim Goliath!"



"Beckela -my angel -this is the ancient homeland of the Jewish Prophets"



"Well now Abe! - I put up with this place for five years - with the goyim screaming and yelling -and the rotton plumbing - and the sandstorms and the rockets - and:



" Now i'm telling you - You build an addition on this house and put in a swimming poool - Or - me and the kids are going back to my parents in Tel Aviv -and i'm getting my cousin - the lawyer - Moishe Pipick to drain you dry with alimony and child support"



'You can stay out here with the goyim and the prophets - and you can shtupp the sheep!"



So -now you know why the settlement issue will NOT be solved any time soon - AND - why the Palestinians -whose wives only speak when spoken to - cannot grasp the depth of this problem.

Anna Nicole Smith Just Won't Go Away

Now that Anna is under renewed legal interest -- let's not forget my initial investigative report (below) of her exotic and mysterious death.

Anna Nicole Smith Did Not OD -- Death Caused By Her Huge Vibrator

Secret autopsy reports obtained by the Bandit indicate that part of a motor from "a huge vibrator" was found in Anna's colon.LA Examiner Dr.Sanjay Fakakta said; " It probably broke loose during orgasm and with the shock and impact probably caused a brain aneurism."LA detective Meyer Lansky said ;"This would seem to explain the loud 'Oh my God' and dimming of lights in the surrounding area where Anna had her last orgasm."

CSI investigative chief and a trained electrical engineer Hanran Voltar said;"Judging by the size of Anna's orgasm --we found her clitoris on a lawn in Brentwood which is three miles from the death scene -- the vibrator had to be extremely powerful, and it's motor which killed her, is commonly used in rocket propelled grenade launchers.

He went on -- "There were large holes burned into the mirror above her bed and from burn marks around her breasts, it is apparent that bolts of electricity shot out of her nipples and scorched the ceiling."

"Wow --you won't see that on CBS" -- said the Bandit celebrity reporter.

What Makes Hunter's Such Sick Fucks You Nobel Scientists?

The mastery of light through technology was the theme of this year’s Nobel Prize in Physics as the Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences honored breakthroughs in fiber optics and digital photography.

Ok that's just great -hooray and woopedydoodaday! But -how about some of you geniuses figuring out why a guy (women don't do this) will go into the woods and try and kill a beautiful wild creature -and enjoy the living shit out of it.

Oh yeah -it's killing season again -and we all know this is NOT about hunting or needing the meat. -- It IS all about the enjoyment derived from - say - shooting an arrow into the belly of a brown Bear -and the pure enjoyment of knowing it was "YOU" who did the killing. -You sick fuck -YOU!

I mean -if you all can figure out how shit we can't even see can make the world a more efficient place - Then - why not focus a tad on whatever is going on in those sick fucking dudes' minds' who just love to maim and hurt and kill.

Who LOVE to play with guns and are totally mesmerized by the power they feel when they shoot and destroy something -anything. (even beer cans and signs and shit)

I mean -what the fuck is wrong with these pathetic fucking men?

Is it a sex thing? -A small cock thing? -some wire loose?

Come on already you Nobel Prize seekers -come up with somethin!

Imagine if we could just get rid of these fuckers in the womb!

Talaban Leader Does Stand-Up

SARAROGHA, Pakistan – Flanked by heavily armed fighters, the new leader of the Pakistani Taliban sat on a blue blanket, amiable and relaxed as he cracked jokes and mixed in threats of vengeance for deadly U.S. airstrikes.

One day later, a suicide bomber attacked a U.N. office in Islamabad.

Badda Boom! -laughs all around!

You know iv'e been wondering for some time now if any of these stone age Muslims have any sense of humor?

I mean - did you ever hear an Islamo fascist laugh or tell a joke?

Iv'e always believed that if we could tickle their funny bones in some way it might loosen things up a bit in the Middle East.

Maybe we could start with this new leader of the Talaban who seems to like a joke or two. - SO - let's put some of our best joke writers on the case and see if we can't get a dialogue going here.

"Hey Mufti! -my wife bent over to grab a fig and she farted so loud i thought it was a land mine" - "You should have seen her Burkah fly open - And it was smelling like a burning Hummer!" hahahahahahhahahhaha

"Oh Mufti - and speaking of Hummer - my wife can suck the chrome off a trailker hitch!" hahahahhahha

Oh well - you get my drift - i'll bet a guy like Larry David could have these folks peeing in their pants - And then we'd open Comedy Clubs - and who knows?

Osama might get an agent - a marriage made in heaven!

Alabama Outlaws Dildo Sex

Alabama's Supreme Court recently decided the case of 1568 Montgomery Highway Inc. — also known as Love Stuff — v. the City of Hoover. In a 7-to-2 ruling, it upheld a state law banning the sale of sex toys. The dispute may seem a bit frivolous, but it rests on a fundamental question: After the Supreme Court’s 2003 ruling striking down sodomy laws, how free is the majority to impose its morality through the law?

So the religioredneckmorons are at it again -they failed in their quest to ban sodomy - so now they're after our sex toys.

And those of us who like to work in tandum with a high powered dildo while engaging in sodomy are now in risk of some Alabama Sherrif's deputy knocking down the door and putting us under arrest.

I mean - here's some redneck deputy who get's HIS rocks off by killing beautiful animals -with a court order to arrest me while i'm in my own home slamming my old lady up the can with a dildo?

I mean - Thomas Jefferson and John Adams will be rolling over in their graves -and Benjy Franklin who is supposedly the first person to use an electrified dildo (hooked up to a kite and key in a lightening storm) will probably return from the dead if he gets wind of this shit.

Well - fortunately -I'm told that the unholy alliance on the Supremo Court of Clarence (porno) Thomas and his Godfather Scalia will probably vote to over rule the Alabama decision.

They are notorious sex toy enthusiasts (Thomas supposedly showed Scalia pictures of his white wife sucking a foot long doubleheaded dildo while he sodomized her)

What the heck is next in this wacky world?

Folks Who Welcome Death Can't Have Nukes

It's as simple as that -and everyone knows that's the real reason we can't let these death worshipers have WMD -But no one wants to say to the Ayatollah:

'Excuse me sir -YOU can't wait to die - it will be a huge improvement over your life - So dontch'a see why we who love LIFE would be a bit concerned about you religious fanaticks having nuclear bombs. -and with your kinda bad attitude toward us Infidels?"

"I mean - we would NEVER let the Pope have nuclear weapons -and they don't want to die quite as much as you guys because at least they drink wine and fuck kids for some fun"

"I mean - you don't get high -you don't laugh - you don't eat pussy - you don't like art or any kind of creativity - you don't like dancing or music - I Mean -What the fuck!?"

"Why don't you just pass one of your many revisions of the real Koran which would allow you to fucking kill yourselves -AND jump feet first into that big pool full of Virgins WITHOUT mustaches? - And then eat some nice clean pussy and some fresh fruit and take a nice dump and wipe WITH Charmin instead of your sandy hand."

"There's GOTTA be Charmin up there wherever you all go -and even Fibrecom to relieve your horrible gas from a lifetime of eating stale figs and shit. - Imagine! -No more constipation!"

'It will be better than you even think it will be - i hear they will even let you have Chinks up there - Some nice pork fried rice and spareribs!"

"Oh and i hear that Allah and Mohammad have a special place for bigshots like you Ayatollah's and Caliphs and suicide bombers of course! - Where you can fuck guys and goats and even do some gambling -and get loaded -and just let it ALL hang out!"

"So - forget the nuclear weapons - Just fucking kill yourselves - just do it - Don't think about it - Do It!"

"And let us get on with our fun loving fucked up lives for as long as we can - and hey -take heart -soon we'll all be dead! "

" Maybe you'll let us use the pool and tennis courts?"

"Out With A Bang!" Plan Endorsed By AARP

Dr.Moishe Pipick - President of The AARP (Almost Alive Retired People) -which covers 68% of ALL seniors -announced today:

About $67 billion — nearly a third of the money spent by Medicare — goes to patients in the last two years of life. The need to spend less money at the end of life “is the elephant in the room,” Evan Thomas wrote in “The Case for Killing Granny,” the cover story in last week’s Newsweek. “Everyone sees it but no one wants to talk aboutAbout $67 billion — nearly a third of the money spent by Medicare — goes to patients in the last two years of life. The need to spend less money at the end of life “is the elephant in the room,” Evan Thomas wrote in “The Case for Killing Granny,” the cover story in last week’s Newsweek. “Everyone sees it but no one wants to talk about

Dr. Pipick continued: "Under the 'Go Out With A Bang!" plan - If you have less than three years to live - -THen - instead of wasting away and being shlepped from one test and one Doctor to another -and then finally and inevitably expiring with your loved ones broke while watching you turn into a dead cabbage roll:

"You can "Go Out With A Bang" - Yep -we'll give you a cash payment (twenty percent of what your treatment would have been) and ALL the drugs and/or booze you want - including synthetic Viagra which will turn the clock on your libido and commensurrate libidinal organs -Back fifty years -AND access to all the Male and/or Female hookers you desire!

Pipick concluded; " The savings wil result in the average medical plan costing most folks under three -hundred dollars a year -And that's with universal coverage - including illegal aliens!"

So - "Go Out With A Bang!" (Not available to most folks under seventy five)