xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#'. The Digibandit

Wednesday, August 08, 2012

NBC asked Jack Osborne to be a Target in an Iron Lung - on "Stars Earn Stripes"

 fire away
 Yesterday, NBC Entertainment Chairman Bob Greenblatt responded toSharon Osbourne and her claims that her son, Jack Osbourne was let go from NBC's upcoming new reality series, Stars Earn Stripes after he was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis.  Reportedly, Sharon Osbourne was angry at NBC's supposed decision which prompted her to leave her position as judge on America's Got Talent. 

"First, we have the deepest affection for Sharon Osbourne and consider her to be part of the NBC family," 
 Although we did not ask Jack to participate in the competition because of his MS disability, we were able to offer him two substantial alternative roles on the show:
hoo hoo

One - was to be a target in a bullet proof Iron Lung.   

Second - we offered him a role as a dancing Chimpanzee in the show open where his disability could be covered as wild uncoordinated dancing

Both of which he declined. This network does not discriminate on any basis."

Tuesday, August 07, 2012

Suicide Bomber Returns From Paradise -Say's "It's a Real Shithole"

 welcome to paradise
"Osama Bin Tuchas has returned from Paradise and boy is he pissed off!" said Brigadier general Moishe Pipick a spokesman for Mossad. (Israeli's intelligence service)

He stated: "Osama arrived in paradise expecting his promised pool full of hot Virgins and all the other goodies The Shiite Muslim preachers said would be his if he blew up a Sunni wedding party but said Osama;"

The fucking pool was full of camel shit and the so called virgins were a bunch of fat fucking ugly -diseased whores from Tehran."

Osama went on; "I am the first suicide bomber to escape from their shithole of a Paradise and let me tell my Muslim Brothers - Paradise is a real crap hole -even WORSE than where you now live."

General Pipick said ;"This is gonna put a real crimp in the number of suicide freako pschopaths they can recruit.


"Sure will" said Osama -to say nothing of the fact that while i managed to escape -i have no arms or legs or cock -and only one ball."


Dolphins and Whales Cheer as Japs Continue To Suffer From Tsunami Aftermath


No i'm not talking about the millions of Chinese and Koreans they raped tortured and murdered during their occupation of those countries before and during WW2:

I'm talking about their continuing slaughter of Dolphins and Whales which we all know have more intelligence and sensitivity than your average red neck Republican.
I mean wouldn't you rather see Sarah Palin and that whole crowd of Bible Belting Morons screaming for air as they drowned in a Tuna net - or heaving up fountains of blood from a harpoon stuck in their guts than a Dolphin or a Whale
Anyway -The Japanese would eat their children if they had fins and now those lovely Sea Mammals are high fiving with their fins and blowing up spouty cheers as their tormentors deal with their well deserved karma payback..

Monday, August 06, 2012

Fox TV adds Annie Parisse to "Serial CornHole Killers" midseason thriller

Former Law & Order star, Annie Parisse is joining FOX's midseason thriller Following CornHole Killers as a series regular.  The Following stars Kevin Bacon as past FBI agent Ryan Hardy who is brought in as a consultant when serial cornhole killer Joe Carroll (James Purefoy) escapes and begins a new Cornhole killing spree.  

Parisse will play FBI Specialist Debra Parker who is brought in to lead the investigation of Carroll and his followers.

In her opening episode Parisse gets raped and almost cornholed to death by Joe Caroll (James Purefoy) but Kevin Bacon as an FBI agent skilled in Sniper shooting - manages to shoot one of Joe's nuts off and saves Debra Parker's life. 

The Following is from Bonanza Productions Inc. in association with Outerbanks Entertainment and Warner Bros. Television. 

Sunday, August 05, 2012

Spain Tortured and Expelled The Jews - Now It Produces Their Hasidic Hats


A tale of great irony -500 years after being tortured and oppressed and finally  kicked out of Spain  (and marginalized and slaughtered by Christians world-wide for over a millenium)  - Jews returned to Jerusalem - building their own powerful Democratic country out of sand and swamp  - and - NOW - buy their Hasidic Sombreros from a struggling Spanish hatmaker.  

"despite the Spanish economic crisis, the hat company is thriving, thanks to an unlikely revenue base: the sales of thousands of black hats each year to Satmar Hasidic Jews in Jerusalem and Brooklyn."

“They are saving us in the crisis,” said Miguel García Gutiérrez, 35, the managing director of the Roche factory, officially known as Industrias Sombrereras Españolas, which operates in an industrial park in Salteras, about nine miles outside Seville. 

Some history

In the same month in which their Majesties [Ferdinand and Isabella] issued the edict that all Jews should be driven out of the kingdom and its territories, in the same month they gave me the order to undertake with sufficient men my expedition of discovery to the Indies." So begins Christopher Columbus's diary. The expulsion that Columbus refers to was so cataclysmic an event that ever since, the date 1492 has been almost as important in Jewish history as in American history. On July 30 of that year, the entire Jewish community, some 200,000 people, were expelled from Spain.
Tens of thousands of refugees died while trying to reach safety. In some instances, Spanish ship captains charged Jewish passengers exorbitant sums, then dumped them overboard in the middle of the ocean. In the last days before the expulsion, rumors spread throughout Spain that the fleeing refugees had swallowed gold and diamonds, and many Jews were knifed to death by brigands hoping to find treasures in their stomachs.



Saturday, August 04, 2012

America Should Have Stayed a British Colony

We Would have A Queen

 Completely Nuts
Watching the  redneck morons and just plain stupid and incompetent anti-science and anti-aesthetic -demigods and intellect hating folks who comprise the Tea Party gang -  started me thinkin about the original Tea Party and the American Revolution -and i realized with great dismay that it would be a much better World if the British had won our Revolutionary War:

The common folk in the present UK are like Rocket Scientists compared to the commoners in the USA! They watch the BBC and are mostly non religious or Church of England which is like being a Buddhist compared to an American Christian -and they are MARRIED! - Reverends don't sodomize children (they sodomize their wives like normal people do) -AND they don't feel the need to own vaults filled with guns or to kill beautiful animals for a thrill.

In The UK they have a House of Lords that knows the Common folk are assholes -and they are not ashamed to say so.

They also have a House of Commons where the people's representatives act like common assholes and are expected to by the asshole people -Who then get EXACTLY what they need and desrve,

They also have a Queen! - How fucking cool is that -AND as a result all the Gays are happy.

Oh -and without a whole lot of loony religious conservatives - you don't have debates about whether Darwin was an Atheist Jew lover and Creationism should be taught in schools -or whether a Zygote is a human being - and how God said in the bible that gays were Vermin (and all that other lovey dovey Scripture stuff)

AND AND AND -if The British HAD won the war with us - They would have been strong enough to maintain the British Empire in style:

Hence - NO First World War (Germany wouldn't have said boo with a powerful British Empire standing in their way) -AND hence no WWTwo - NO USSR and no cold war. (i estimate the savings in loss of life alone - at around two hundred million.)

AND best of all would have been (second only to the non emergence of those American Tea Bag morons):

When you called a customer service department for help with ANY product or service -Instead of getting "Hellooo Dees is Dakta in Mombay Ken i help Voooo?"

You would hear "Ello Mate -Gotta bit ov a problem have yeh? - well you just hold on Gov - an we will fix er right up!"

So -fuck George Washington and ALL The Founding fathers -

They screwed us Royally!

Rule Brittania!

Friday, August 03, 2012

Vultures Compared To Catholic Cornholing Priests


 

i wouldn't cornhole a kid
if i could fly i would fuck Vultures
 i wouldn't fuck a Priest with your cock
 i wish you were ten years old my dear




NOW the Comparison:

Vultures  eat rotting flesh and defend themselves by projectile vomiting at their enemies. Throw in the fact that that they can fly, can grow to have wing spans of close to 6 feet, and grunt and hiss like giant snakes when they feel threatened, and you have an animal fashioned from the nightmares of Edgar Allen Poe, as directed by Tim Burton, in a very bad mood.

Toss in the popular notion that you only see these things when you’re alone, near death, somehow stuck walking alone through a dessert, and we’re pretty much talking about the opposite of a butterfly here.

Consider these vulture fun facts: (Spoiler alert- they are not fun).

- a vulture can eat a diseased corpse of an animal, and through its digestive system, the disease will be rendered neutral, that is to say, the vulture’s poop will be clean. Which is nice.

- the vomit of a vulture has more acidic content than acid rain, and if its incredible stench doesn’t scare away its predator, the vomit contacting the skin will actually burn it.

- vultures urinate on themselves as a method of cooling their skin and destroying bacteria that may have gotten on them while feeding on a dying, diseased animal. Sure, they could be more careful about eating, but then they wouldn't have the need to pee on themselves.

- a vulture will often begin eating an animal corpse at its anus or at its eyes. Why? Because in most cases, that is where the dead animal is most vulnerable. So, ah, take that, other animals who think they’re creepy- I’m talking to YOU- eels, tapeworms and ticks.

- vultures can smell a dead mouse under leaves at 200 feet in the sky. To put that in perspective, consider that if milk smells bad, you know immediately to not put it in your coffee- the vulture would be all like “ah, no, it’s the other way around.”


But -Remember this -A Vulture unlike a homo priest -will not fuck a nine year old Altar Boy in the tuchas. 

Thursday, August 02, 2012

Animal Planet renews "Cornhole Gator Boys"



Animal Planet snapped up a second season of Cornhole Gator Boys starring Paul Bedard and Jimmy Riffle who capture alligators with their bare hands and then Cornhole them and each other.


Each evening they sit around the fire eating Cornholed Gator meat and swapping yarns and cornholing each other -and then heading into town for a Cornholing fiesta  


During its first season, Gator Boys averaged close to 1 million total viewers.  In its second season airing next year, Paul and Jimmy will move to a new location, Gulf Coast Gator Ranch in Moss Point, Mississippi where they find the alligators are bigger and meaner than those the guys have encountered to date and really hate being cornholed.


  Cornholer Productions is behind the series. 

Yo Ayatollah! -No Nukes! - WHY? - Because You're Fucking Nuts! -Get it now?


 we're waiting for you hot lips
 Soon as i nuke the jews

It's as simple as that -and everyone knows that's the real reason we can't let these death worshipers have WMD -But no one wants to say to the Ayatollah:


'Excuse me sir -YOU can't wait to die - it will be a huge improvement over your life - So dontch'a see why we who love LIFE would be a bit concerned about you religious fanaticks having nuclear bombs. -and with your kinda bad attitude toward us Infidels?"

"I mean - we would NEVER let the Pope have nuclear weapons -and they don't want to die quite as much as you guys because at least they drink wine and fuck kids for some fun"

"I mean - you don't get high -you don't laugh - you don't eat pussy - you don't like art or any kind of creativity - you don't like dancing or music - I Mean -What the fuck!?"

"Why don't you just pass one of your many revisions of the real Koran which would allow you to fucking kill yourselves -AND jump feet first into that big pool full of Virgins WITHOUT mustaches? - And then eat some nice clean pussy and some fresh fruit and take a nice dump and wipe WITH Charmin instead of your sandy hand."

"There's GOTTA be Charmin up there wherever you all go -and even Fibrecom to relieve your horrible gas from a lifetime of eating stale figs and shit. - Imagine! -No more constipation!"

'It will be better than you even think it will be - i hear they will even let you have Chinks up there - Some nice pork fried rice and spareribs!"

"Oh and i hear that Allah and Mohammad have a special place for bigshots like you Ayatollah's and Caliphs and suicide bombers of course! - Where you can fuck guys and goats and even do some gambling -and get loaded -and just let it ALL hang out!"

"So - forget the nuclear weapons - Just fucking kill yourselves - just do it - Don't think about it - Do It!"

"And let us get on with our fun loving fucked up lives for as long as we can - and hey -take heart -soon we'll all be dead! "

" Maybe you'll let us use the pool and tennis courts?"

Wednesday, August 01, 2012

670 Million Indians Fucking In The Dark - Dot Explosion Coming


Injay Hertajananabe - head of India's power grid said today:
"Well -we now have ten percent of the World's population with nothing to do but munch on some rice and fuck their brains out in the dark!"
He continued: "Hundreds of Millions of Dots will be connected and result in a population explosion which will lead to famine and revolution and also a great surge in our outsourcing resources in 15 years time."

On Tuesday, India suffered the largest electrical blackout in history, affecting an area encompassing about 670 million people, or roughly 10 percent of the world’s population. 

The Church Burnt and Tortured Heroic Martyrs and Now Abides Child Abusers

 Vatican inquiry
"church authorities, upset that Ripoll had not been burned at the stake, placed his dead body into a barrel, painted flames on the barrel and buried it in unconsecrated ground. Other reports state that the church authorities placed his body into a barrel and burned the barrel, throwing the ashes into a river [3] Ripoll has the dubious honor of being the last of the many people known to have been executed for having committed the act of heresy, under sentence from a 'Church authority,' specifically the Spanish Inquisition. His last words were, "I die reconciled to God and to man." 


 Deist martyr
god will forgive me
 me too
Cayetano Ripoll (allegedly from Solsona 1778 - Valencia 1826), was a schoolmaster in Valencia, Spain, who was hanged to death on 26 July 1826 for allegedly teaching Deist principles.[1] [2] Ripoll was a soldier in the Spanish army during the Peninsular War (1807-1814). He was captured by French forces and was a prisoner of war. While being held by the French he was taken to France and there he became aware of Deism. He soon became a Deist. [3] Upon returning to Spain, he used his position as a school master to teach others about Deism. He was accused by the Spanish inquisition (1478-1834) of being a Deist and of teaching his students about Deism. He was arrested for heresy and held in jail for close to two years. The clergymen of the Spanish Inquisition demanded Ripoll be burned at the stake for his heresy, however, the civil authorities chose to hang him instead. "


Too bad they didn't burn Joe and Jerry at the stake!

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

If Working Women Give Their Jobs to Men -Unemployment rate goes to 4%



 ok -you guys take over
Women should give their jobs to men - eventually ending the whole unemployment problem and reversing the cultural mess we are in.
There was a time - not long ago:


When women ran the household and nurtured their children


When a man - with one job - supplied all the material needs of the family
When kids were watched over and played outside


When kids were not obese and drugged out


When parents were not obese and drugged out


When being in debt from buying unecessary crap was unecessary

When men felt like they had balls

when women felt like women

When kids felt like kids

When Republicans had brains


cc Lawrence Summers -head of Obama National Economic Council

Fat Malibu,CA Tourists Get Tickets for Exceeding 120 BMI

 we shoulda stayed in Dayton Martha
 No Porkers Allowed in The Park
In a first of it's kind local ordinance-Malibu has established a violation for being "Obese Within City Limits".

"We don't want fat tourists in Malibu and none of our full time residents has a Body Mass Index over 112"said Carl Smyth - Malibu's Sheriff."

He said; "If you are a porker it's gonna cost you $500 and ten dollars more for every pound of fat over the 120 BMI limit -so go somewhere else - try Dayton,Ohio -ha ha ha"

"Why did you establish this mean violation?" asked digibandit reporter Elise Mandelbaum?"

Smythe replied: "These folks look like shit and Malibu is perfect the way it is AND they have a huge Carbon imprint."

"We want slender gals like you Elise with big ta ta's!"

Monday, July 30, 2012

Islamic Rabid Chimpanzees With Hydrogen Bombs?


Muslim brothers,” said the government-appointed preacher, Sheik Eid Abdel Hamid Youssef, “God has inflicted the Muslim nation with a people whom God has become angry at and whom he cursed so he made monkeys and pigs out of them. They killed prophets and messengers and sowed corruption on Earth. They are the most evil on Earth.”


And these crazy morons who run Iran and their predecessors have felt this way about the Jews long before Israel existed!


It isn't about Palestine or Palestinians!


They hate the Jews -they hate themselves -they hate progress -they hate women -they hate Democracy - they hate art and literature and music!

They are a land full of miserable fucks - where some of the best jobs are killing each other in the name of Allah - where a violent death leads to the promise of an eternity fucking Virgins in Paradise -and now they want a Nuclear Capability -duh!


Just Imagine the Israelis living next door to these Neanderthals knowing that the first time they gain the military means to wipe them off the face of the Earth - they will attempt it!
And - then - an Israeli nuclear submarine in the Mediterranean will turn Gaza and the West Bank and Syria and Iran and Jordan and maybe the whole fucking Middle East into Chernoble!

So - we all better pray that they are successful in keeping their ongoing existential threats at a reasonable distance until the Arabs get their shit together - or it's the big KABOOM!

Because the Israelis won't go down easy!

Hamas is commited to the destruction of Israel! -They are totally supported by Iran and Syria -The Israelis cannot stand by and let them grow stronger and stronger.

These Chimpanzees are their next door neighbors - this is not about Israelis wantonly killing civilians - the Israelis revere life - not death.
This is about a tiny democratic country living among the most crazy and violent people on Earth - fighting for it's life!

Clocks are ticking

Sunday, July 29, 2012

" My God You're Alive" from Fox TV -" Make Believe" Death Reality Show


Mike Schlocknelll President of Fox TV announced a revolutionary new Reality program in which families will be informed that a close member of that family -- has died!
"Here's an example of how it worked -we have of course already shot thirteen episodes before the joke got around --haha " He continued; "The wife gets a phone call(from our producer) --so sorry Mrs. Crotchrot, this is the LA Medical Examiner's office and we have some terrible news for you --your husband Benjamin is dead! -- Be calm my dear -- he's with God at this very moment --no it won't be necessary for you to identify the remains because there are no remains --- now calm down Maa'm and let me explain. Your husband was identified from DNA samples in a tooth from the Great Whie Shark that ate him which we found washed up on the Malibu beach -- it was stuck in a piece of Mr. Crotchrot's skull. --oh please stop screaming --think of him with Jesus now--playing Golf. --Please stop crying -- okay so think of him with Moses and Abraham, playing Pinochle"

"Well you get the picture." he went on: " So we cover all the family trauma and do a bunch of backstories on the family and the deceased --we get the kids involved and the neighbors and the Clergy and the funeral is fabulous --we bring in some gospel r&b talent from "American Idol" (ooh Lordy Jesus ooh ooh uh uh) monkey music crapola -- or a Rabbi with a violin, or Matsinyahu (manishtinoye hazeh oye yoy yoy voy) the Hebey histrionics -- and the tears flow like Evian and people moan and cry and faint and throw themselves on the casket -- You know! -- the whole reality shtick that the moronic viewers eat up like shit candy."
"But"Mike continued; at least this program has a happy ending and a moral point of view -- when Mr.Crotchrot jumps out of the casket --not only is their wild relief (ah yes - dissapointment in some cases) -but it really demonstrates what's important in life in a clear and sobering fashion -- a real wake-up call! -- and -- it offers hope to folks who have been informed of sudden deaths in their families -- who can now hope and pray that thay will pop up at their funeral as part of a television hoax?
Our Reporter asked; "You think that justifies your faking someone's death --scaring loved ones out of their minds with grief -- the shock and trauma and long lasting impact on the children?" -- "Now just hold on right there Miss Gullible. There have only been two heart attacks and one stroke so far,and the children spend half their lives with digital baby sitters that make this show look like "Little House On The Prairie".

"And besides -- who gives a fuck -- it's Television --you don't like it --turn it the fuck off. "

Saturday, July 28, 2012

Ann Romney "Hiroshi Hoketsu can Ride ME like a Drissage Bitch Mare!"

Said Anne " He makes me wet just watching him in the Ring - i would blow him in the stable until he was too weak to ride -except to ride ME like a Drissage Mare AND if Mitty (endearing term for Mitt) didn't like it  -it's just tough titty -I would fuck Hiroshi with Mitt watching!


LONDON – The oldest competitor at the 2012 Olympic Games has revealed the extraordinary sacrifices he has made in order to remain a medal contender well past retirement age.
Hiroshi Hoketsu, who will represent Japan in the equestrian discipline of dressage at the age of 71, told Yahoo! Sports how chasing a slice of history and becoming the oldest Olympian in the last 92 years is the result of a fanatical commitment to the spo
"I have not seen my wife, Motoko, for more than a year," said Hoketsu, who lives and trains in the German town of Aachen in order to team up with his horse, Whisper, and his Dutch coach. "It is difficult to be away from home for this long as an old man and I owe everything to her patience and understanding.but even if i never got laid again i would rather fuck a snake than Anne Romney."

Hoketsu further responded to Anne Romney's comments saying; "I wouldn't fuck that Porker with Mitt's dick!"

King of Blood Spatterers' -Harvey Weinstein - is SOOOO Full of Shit


   From  deadline Hollywood   -Weinstein also said, “I think, as filmmakers, we should sit down – the Marty Scorseses, the Quentin Tarantinos, and hopefully all of us who deal in violence in movies – and discuss our role in that.” 
As a successful screenwriter pal of mine emailed about Harvey’s ‘summit’ call: “Wonderful. It’s going to take place at the corner of Hubris St. and Hypocrisy Blvd, in the city of Sanctimony, right near the Self-Righteous Cineplex.”

Here is Harvey's blood soaked filmography:

Escape From Planet Earth (2013)

Role: Executive Producer

The Amityville Horror: The Lost Tapes (2012)

Role: Executive Producer

Django Unchained (2012)

Role: Executive Producer

Piranha 3DD (2012)

Role: Executive Producer

Killing Them Softly (2012)

Role: Executive Producer

The Love We Make (2011)

Role: Actor

Butter (2011)

Role: Executive Producer

My Week With Marilyn (2011)

Role: Producer, Executive Producer

Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs. Evil (2011)

Role: Executive Producer

I Don't Know How She Does It (2011)

Role: Producer, Executive Producer

Scream 4 (2011)

Role: Executive Producer

Spy Kids: All The Time in The World (2011)

Role: Executive Producer, Producer

Apollo 18 (2011)

Role: Executive Producer

W.E. (2011)

Role: Executive Producer

All Good Things (2010)

Role: Executive Producer

The Fighter (2010)

Role: Executive Producer

Piranha 3-D (2010)

Role: Executive Producer

The King's Speech (2010)

Role: Executive Producer

Crossing Over (2009)

Role: Executive Producer

Inglourious Basterds (2009)

Role: Executive Producer

Killshot (2009)

Role: Executive Producer

Nine (2009)

Role: Producer

Capitalism: A Love Story (2009)

Role: Executive Producer

Halloween 2 (2009)

Role: Executive Producer

The Longshots (2008)

Role: Executive Producer

Elite Squad (2008)

Role: Executive Producer

Soul Men (2008)

Role: Executive Producer

Zack and Miri Make a Porno (2008)

Role: Executive Producer

The Reader (2008)

Role: Executive Producer

Hell Ride (2008)

Role: Executive Producer

Alien Love Triangle (2008)

Role: Executive Producer

Superhero Movie (2008)

Role: Executive Producer

Rogue (2008)

Role: Executive Producer

Rambo (2008)

Role: Executive Producer

The Last Legion (2007)

Role: Executive Producer

Captain Mike Across America (2007)

Role: Executive Producer

Awake (2007)

Role: Executive Producer

Grindhouse (2007)

Role: Executive Producer

The Great Debaters (2007)

Role: Executive Producer

Manufacturing Dissent (2007)

Role: Actor

The Mist (2007)

Role: Executive Producer

Who's Your Caddy? (2007)

Role: Executive Producer

Fanboys (2007)

Role: Executive Producer

1408 (2007)

Role: Executive Producer

The Nanny Diaries (2007)

Role: Executive Producer

Halloween (2007)

Role: Executive Producer

Sicko (2007)

Role: Executive Producer

Scary Movie 4 (2006)

Role: Executive Producer

School for Scoundrels (2006)

Role: Executive Producer

Miss Potter (2006)

Role: Executive Producer

Breaking and Entering (2006)

Role: Executive Producer

Factory Girl (2006)

Role: Executive Producer

Clerks II (2006)

Role: Executive Producer

Pulse (2006)

Role: Executive Producer

Feast (2006)

Role: Executive Producer

An Unfinished Life (2005)

Role: Executive Producer

Proof (2005)

Role: Executive Producer

Cursed (2005)

Role: Executive Producer

The Brothers Grimm (2005)

Role: Executive Producer

Mindhunters (2005)

Role: Co-Executive Producer

Sin City (2005)

Role: Executive Producer

The Great Raid (2005)

Role: Executive Producer

The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3-D (2005)

Role: Executive Producer

Curandero (2005)

Role: Executive Producer

Derailed (2005)

Role: Executive Producer

Venom (2005)

Role: Executive Producer

The Aviator (2004)

Role: Executive Producer

Ella Enchanted (2004)

Role: Executive Producer

Jersey Girl (2004)

Role: Executive Producer

Finding Neverland (2004)

Role: Executive Producer

Shall We Dance? (2004)

Role: Executive Producer

Fahrenheit 9/11 (2004)

Role: Executive Producer

Kill Bill Vol. 2 (2004)

Role: Executive Producer

Chestnut: Hero of Central Park (2004)

Role: Executive Producer

Paperclips (2004)

Role: Executive Producer

My Boss's Daughter (2003)

Role: Executive Producer

Kill Bill Vol. 1 (2003)

Role: Executive Producer

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)

Role: Executive Producer

My Baby's Daddy (2003)

Role: Executive Producer

Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over (2003)

Role: Executive Producer

Scary Movie 3 (2003)

Role: Executive Producer

Bad Santa (2003)

Role: Co-Executive Producer

Cold Mountain (2003)

Role: Executive Producer

The Human Stain (2003)

Role: Executive Producer

Duplex (2003)

Role: Executive Producer

Dracula II: Ascension (2003)

Role: Executive Producer

Only the Strong Survive (2002)

Role: Executive Producer

Equilibrium (2002)

Role: Executive Producer

Heaven (2002)

Role: Executive Producer

Below (2002)

Role: Executive Producer

Gangs of New York (2002)

Role: Producer, Studio Executive

Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams (2002)

Role: Executive Producer

Confessions of a Dangerous Mind (2002)

Role: Executive Producer

Halloween: Resurrection (2002)

Role: Co-Executive Producer

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)

Role: Executive Producer

Chicago (2002)

Role: Executive Producer

Spy Kids (2001)

Role: Executive Producer

The Others (2001)

Role: Executive Producer

The Shipping News (2001)

Role: Executive Producer

Iris (2001)

Role: Executive Producer

Daddy & Them (2001)

Role: Executive Producer

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

Role: Executive Producer

Kate & Leopold (2001)

Role: Executive Producer

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001)

Role: Executive Producer

Scary Movie 2 (2001)

Role: Executive Producer

Waking Up in Reno (2001)

Role: Executive Producer

Chocolat (2000)

Role: Executive Producer

Love's Labour's Lost (2000)

Role: Executive Producer

The Yards (2000)

Role: Executive Producer

About Adam (2000)

Role: Executive Producer

Committed (2000)

Role: Executive Producer

Scream 3 (2000)

Role: Executive Producer

Reindeer Games (2000)

Role: Executive Producer

Scary Movie (2000)

Role: Executive Producer

Down to You (2000)

Role: Executive Producer

Bounce (2000)

Role: Executive Producer

Highlander: Endgame (2000)

Role: Executive Producer

Hellraiser 5: Inferno (2000)

Role: Executive Producer

Malena (2000)

Role: Producer

Wes Craven Presents: Dracula 2000 (2000)

Role: Executive Producer

Boys and Girls (2000)

Role: Executive Producer

Backstage (2000)

Role: Executive Producer

Impostor (2000)

Role: Co-Executive Producer

The Crow: Salvation (2000)

Role: Executive Producer

Texas Rangers (2000)

Role: Executive Producer

In Too Deep (1999)

Role: Executive Producer

My Life So Far (1999)

Role: Executive Producer

Outside Providence (1999)

Role: Executive Producer

Guinevere (1999)

Role: Executive Producer

The Cider House Rules (1999)

Role: Executive Producer

Holy Smoke (1999)

Role: Executive Producer

She's All That (1999)

Role: Executive Producer

Music of the Heart (1999)

Role: Executive Producer

Teaching Mrs. Tingle (1999)

Role: Executive Producer

Shakespeare in Love (1998)

Role: Producer

The Mighty (1998)

Role: Executive Producer

Prophecy II: Ashtown (1998)

Role: Executive Producer

Playing By Heart (1998)

Role: Executive Producer

The Faculty (1998)

Role: Executive Producer

Wide Awake (1998)

Role: Executive Producer

B. Monkey (1998)

Role: Co-Executive Producer

Little Voice (1998)

Role: Co-Executive Producer

Heaven (1998)

Role: Executive Producer

Ride (1998)

Role: Executive Producer

Senseless (1998)

Role: Executive Producer

A Price Above Rubies (1998)

Role: Executive Producer

Halloween: H2O (1998)

Role: Co-Executive Producer

54 (1998)

Role: Executive Producer

Talk of Angels (1998)

Role: Executive Producer

Rounders (1998)

Role: Executive Producer

Phantoms (1998)

Role: Executive Producer

She's So Lovely (1997)

Role: Co-Executive Producer

The Wings of the Dove (1997)

Role: Executive Producer

Addicted to Love (1997)

Role: Executive Producer

Cop Land (1997)

Role: Executive Producer

Burn, Hollywood, Burn (1997)

Role: Actor

Wishful Thinking (1997)

Role: Executive Producer

Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre (1997)

Role: Co-Executive Producer

Good Will Hunting (1997)

Role: Executive Producer

Scream 2 (1997)

Role: Executive Producer

Princess Mononoke (1997)

Role: Executive Producer

Hav Plenty (1997)

Role: Special Thanks

Jackie Brown (1997)

Role: Executive Producer

I Love You, I Love You Not (1997)

Role: Executive Producer

Air Bud (1997)

Role: Executive Producer

Flirting With Disaster (1996)

Role: Executive Producer

The Pallbearer (1996)

Role: Executive Producer

Beautiful Girls (1996)

Role: Executive Producer

Cosi (1996)

Role: Executive Producer

Scream (1996)

Role: Executive Producer

The Crow: City of Angels (1996)

Role: Executive Producer

Cannes Man (1996)

Role: Actor

The English Patient (1996)

Role: Executive Producer

Last of the High Kings (1996)

Role: Co-Executive Producer

Forgotten Silver (1996)

Role: Actor

Emma (1996)

Role: Executive Producer

A Month By the Lake (1995)

Role: Executive Producer

Smoke (1995)

Role: Executive Producer

Blue in the Face (1995)

Role: Executive Producer

The Englishman Who Went Up A Hill But Came Down A Mountain (1995)

Role: Executive Producer

Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead (1995)

Role: Executive Producer

The Journey of August King (1995)

Role: Executive Producer

The Crossing Guard (1995)

Role: Executive Producer

Victory (1995)

Role: Co-Executive Producer

Pulp Fiction (1994)

Role: Co-Executive Producer

Roadflower (1994)

Role: Executive Producer

Mother's Boys (1994)

Role: Executive Producer

Ready to Wear (1994)

Role: Executive Producer

Restoration (1994)

Role: Co-Producer

Benefit of the Doubt (1993)

Role: Executive Producer

Into the West (1993)

Role: Co-Executive Producer

The Night We Never Met (1993)

Role: Executive Producer

True Romance (1993)

Role: Executive Producer

Dust Devil (1993)

Role: Co-Executive Producer

The Pope Must Diet (1991)

Role: Co-Executive Producer

The Miracle (1991)

Role: Co-Executive Producer

A Rage in Harlem (1991)

Role: Executive Producer

Crossing the Line (1990)

Role: Co-Executive Producer

The Lemon Sisters (1990)

Role: Co-Executive Producer

Strike It Rich (1990)

Role: Executive Producer

Hardware (1990)

Role: Co-Executive Producer

Scandal (1989)

Role: Co-Executive Producer

Animal Behavior (1989)

Role: Co-Executive Producer

Light Years (1988)

Role: Director

Playing for Keeps (1986)

Role: Director, Music Producer, Screenplay, Producer

Mansfield Park (1983)

Role: Executive Producer

The Burning (1981)

Role: Producer, From Story

White Rock (1977)

Role: Producer

President Clinton Documentary

Role: Co-Producer

Stories of Lost Souls

Role: Executive Producer

U Want Me 2 Kill Him?

Role: Executive Producer

August: Osage County

Role: Producer

Untouchable (Remake)

Role: Producer

Sin City 2

Role: Executive Producer

The Promotion

Role: Executive Producer

One Chance

Role: Executive Producer

The Kid Makes the Picture

Role: Actor