Friday, March 22, 2013

Hallmark Channel announces More Stupid Shit for Christian Morons

At Crown Media's upfront presentation at New York City's elegant Eleven Madison Park restaurant, the Hallmark Channel announced that it's doubling down its efforts to develop original programming by adding as much dull phony Christian family bullshit melodrama as they can shovel into those dull dimwit homes who watch their syrupy non creative crap from the fifties.

"The recognition factor for our network is not what it should be, considering how fucking lame most Religious Christian families are" said Bill Abbott, President and CEO of Crown Media Family Networks. "We expect this Upfront to be groundbreaking for us - and be up 20% in terms of volume." Here are some highlights of what the network has coming up:

The network's first original scripted series, Debbie Macomber's Cedar Cove, stars Andie MacDowell as a small-town family court judge whose work life directly impacts her day-to-day life.- REALLY -oh goody! No shit -it does -WOWEEE! -maybe she'll get fucked by the local Sherrif and get the clap and that will get her goin!!!

When Calls the Heart has been greenlit for 10 episodes. Based on the book by Janette Oke, it tells the story of Elizabeth Thatcher, a young teacher accustomed to her high society life, who receives her first classroom post in a prairie town in the Western Frontier. The movie pilot debuts on October 5, while the series premieres in January 2014. OMG does that sound creative and stimulating! -I mean what the fuck! - Hopefully Elizabeth will get cornholed by a an entire tribe of Apache Indians.

Pilot-to-series projects include My Gal Sunday, based on a book of short stories by Mary Higgins Clark, and Dead Letters, developed by Touched by An Angel creator Martha Williamson. My Gal Sunday follows the husband and wife crime solving duo of Sunday and Henry Parker. Henry is an ex-Vice President of the United States, and Sunday is a legal aid lawyer. Dead Letters, follows a quirky quartet of civil servants in the Dead Letter Office of the US Postal System who transform themselves into an elite team of lost-mail detectives. LOST MAIL? - I'm surprised there's no CSI Lost Mail? -Maybe the whole family will be sent UPS to Quito,Ecuador and held for ransom and then gang raped by Moron Missionaries gone wild.

There's some more Christian Preachy sappy shit on the slate but i'm too fucking naseous to go on BUT they do have one blockbuster - "Preachers Who Cornhole Local Jewish Women"

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Right Wing WingNuts Lead by Michelle (crazy eyes) Bachman

Just check out the link below for a look into the Greatest Moron Show On Earth -The Republican Right Wingnuts

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2013/03/21/bachmann-its-my-christian-duty-to-repeal-obamacare-before-it-literally-kills-kids/

Bachman's Future

Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) on Thursday insisted that it was her “duty as a believer in Christ” repeal President Barack Obama’s healthcare reform law before “it literally kills women, kills children, kills senior citizens.”

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Dickless Vatican Tells Africans Not To Fuck

Pope Tells Africans Not To Fuck

fuck the Pope

Boys are better

"Hey you dysfunctional folks out there on the Dark Continent - i know your'e having trouble not chopping up everyone in sight -and you make a dollar a day - and your'e hot and dirty - and you have no toilet paper or TV or radio or socks -or even drugs -and there are flies eating up your eyeballs:
"But i - Your Popa - don't have a cock and i am very happy -so donta you worry about getting laid -- i hear it's very messy!"

'If you absolutely have to stick your biga blacka dicka in something -find a young boy -lika my priests."
That Pope is quite a guy!

But the Church is tone deaf - here's the latest statement from The Black Bishops (who would fuck any altar boy that's not armed even if he has advanced stage leprosy)
"The bishops did not veer from Vatican policy opposing the use of condoms to prevent the spread of H.I.V. and AIDS. “The problem cannot be overcome by the distribution of prophylactics,” they wrote. Instead, they urged abstinence among the unmarried and fidelity among the married. “Such a course of action not only offers the best protection against the spread of this disease but is also in harmony with Christian morality,” they wrote."

Remember The "Blow Job Governor" Mark Sanford -He's Baaaack!

This was the digibandit's report back in 09' "Mark Sanford Gives It All Up For Argentinian Blow Job"

COLUMBIA, S.C. – After going AWOL for seven days, Gov. Mark Sanford admitted Wednesday that he had secretly flown to Argentina to visit a woman with whom he was having an affair.

"I'm so ashamed" he announced today at a press conference; "But i never had anyone suck my dick like lupe does."

Wiping away tears, he apologized to his wife and four sons and said he will resign as head of the Republican Governors Association.

"I've been unfaithful to my wife, but maybe if she Learned how to suck cock like Lupe this wouldn't have happened."

He said in a bombshell news conference in which the 49-year-old governor ruminated aloud with remarkable frankness on God's law, moral absolutes and following one's heart. He said he spent the last five days "getting sucked off in Argentina."

Sanford, who in recent months had been mentioned as a possible presidential candidate in 2012, said when questioned about whether he would step down as governor.

"I don't care what God or anyone thinks -0r about my stupid job - i can only think about getting more blow jobs from Lupe."

Sanford concluded; "Lupe can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch!"

Well as Obama always says; "Nothing more viscious or dangerous than a horny Republican politician"

And there's a lot of them!

AND Now He's Back! -Begging for Forgiveness from The Rednecks in South Carolina

Mr. Sanford, who left the governorship in 2011 and had spent the time since regrouping after a divorce and his painful last year in office, said in an interview that he viewed the timing as something of a miracle that came just as he was contemplating his next move.

His strategy, in ads and interviews, had been to first ask for forgiveness for leaving his office unattended for six days as he pursued a woman in Argentina who is now his fiancée. He lied about it, saying he was hiking the Appalachian Trail. Although he finished his term, he faced ethics fines, censure by his party and a divorce from his wife of 21 years, Jenny.

Governor Sanford and his BlowJob Queen


sorry Mark -you BLEW it!

His first ad spoke of finding grace and the god of second chances. His second ad quickly left that theme behind, and hammered home his conservative qualifications, which included being rated by the Cato Institute, a libertarian group, as the most fiscally conservative governor during his tenure.

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

No Bible Apology - "ALL Niggas Look Alike" -says History Channel

History Channel and Executive Producers Mark Burnett and Roma Downey have not apologized regarding comments from viewers of the mini-series The Bible, who took to Twitter to comment that the actor playing Satan, Mohamen Mehdi Ouazanni, resembles President Barack Obama. "This is not a mistake and we don't apologize!-"a Nigga is a Nigga!"

The actor who played Satan, Mehdi Ouzaani, is a highly acclaimed Moroccan actor BUT to tell ya the truth ALL Niggas look the same to me.

Burnett and Downey in a joint statement stated: , "Both Mark and I have nothing but respect and love our President, who is a fellow Christian but he does look like almost every other Nigga i have ever seen who was not holding a gun

False statements such as these are just designed as a foolish distraction to try and discredit the the story of The Bible which is mostly bullshit anyway as we all know."

believe the bible and i have a bridge in Alaska to sell ya

Meanwhile, the network offered the following statement: "History channel has the highest respect for President Obama. The series was produced with an international and diverse cast of respected actors. It's unfortunate that anyone made this false connection and who gives a shit anyway

Burnett is right -they all look the same"

Sunday, March 17, 2013

GUESS WHO? - Tea Party Demagogue - Moronic Office Quitter - AND -Wolf Killer

demagogue -

a person, especially an orator or political leader, who gains power and popularity by arousing the emotions, passions, and prejudices of the people.

to treat or manipulate (a political issue) in the manner of a demagogue; obscure or distort with emotionalism, prejudice, etc.

John was thinking with his cock like most men -hehhehheh

verb (used without object)

In a sweeping pep talk at the Conservative Political Action Conference, Ms. Palin, a former governor of Alaska and Republican vice-presidential nominee, attacked President Obama and the Beltway Republican groups that are promoting traditional candidates over insurgents in Republican primaries.

“More background checks?” she asked, railing against new gun control proposals offered by Democrats in Congress. “Dandy idea, Mr. President. Should’ve started with yours.”

Brilliant comedic insights like that frequently brought this crowd of conservative dullards to its feet, as did a dramatic sip from a Big Gulp cup, to mock Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg’s proposed ban on soda cups bigger than 16 ounces in New York.

Despite her exit from electoral politics after the 2008 presidential election during which she was John McCain’s running mate, Ms. Palin has an enduring type of influence within the conservative movement. Many of its upstart office holders credit her with their success. They include Senator Ted Cruz of Texas, another out of touch redneck christian conservative from Texas who introduced Ms. Palin hours before he delivered the keynote address.

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Mississippian Semi-Human Obese Christian Rednecks Can Eat and Drink Themselves To Death

The Mississippi Legislature just "Hates that kikey Mayor Bloomberg" from New York City

AND SO - Now -Thanks to state legislators, Mississippian redneck semi-human hogs and sows will remain free to drink and eat themselves to death which is a boon to the rest of us

To that end, the people who govern the state with the highest rate of obesity in the nation have passed a bill saying that any law that might restrict what Mississippians eat or drink has to go through them -and fed regs won't matter at all

It is easy to view the new Mississippi law with an ironic eye. As Representative Omeria Scott, a Democrat, pointed out during the debate on the bill, “Mississippi is the fattest and most unhealthy state in the U.S.A.”

That means that cities or counties cannot enact rules limiting soda size, salt content, shortening in cookies, toys in fast-food meals for children, how a menu is written or just about any other aspect of the daily dining experience in Mississippi.

This is great news because these Ignorant Redneck Conservative Christian Blimps do nothing but hold up progress and now they will die a little sooner maybe

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Vinny Guadagnino In "THE Show With Vinny The Italian Moron" from MTV in May

MTV is set to debut an all-new Thursday night lineup with the series premier of "THE Show With Vinny The Italian Moron."

Vinny Guadagnino, formerly of Jersey Shore, tackles late night with "THE Show With Vinny The Italian Moron". The new talk show takes other moronic celebrities into Guadagnino's family home in Staten Island along with Italian mental patients from The Staten Island Psychiatric Institute -and they sit around with his demented family and "shoot the shit" according to Vinny.

i love Vinny The Moron

" It will premiere on Thursday, May 2 at 10p and it's first celebrity guest will be Dom DeLuise's deceased brother Gino DeLuise (on the right) who was found living in a tent in Bayonne,NJ and will talk about his life as a fat wandering homeless Goomba with Vinny."

Announced Mario Fatchetelli - VP Reality programming at MTV who went on: "We expect "Vinnie The Italian Moron" to attract the same wide audience for morons that Jersey Shore did and maybe even bring in some Moolies (blacks) and Latinos who love to watch retarded people do stupid shit and of course we will have a lot of Bimbos around to keep everyone happy"

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Oxygen Audience Comments - Are There Really Women Alive Like This?

Jaleah · 1 day ago

i think Alicia has the big butty but Jenn was the cutie to me