Brad Pitt to have his Balls removed in Support of Angela

Brad Pitt held a press conference in Hollywood today and announced his support for Angela Jolie having more of her organs removed.

He stated; "I love my wife with or without her tits or her ovaries!"

He said:"To prove my undying love for Angela i have scheduled surgery at Cedars Sinai Medical Center in Beverly Hills to have my balls and prostate removed!"

He went on; "I am not recommending that my friends and colleagues take such drastic actions in support of me and i urge Sean Penn and Russell Crowe who i respect and love to not continue with their plans to also undergo castration in support of me and Angela!"

He concluded; "Angela is -as you can imagine -concerned about what the loss of my nuts will do to our sex life BUT i have assured her there are viable alternatives to that predicament!"

Confessions to Gay Priests Don't Count says Pope Francis

In an amazing revelation from His Eminence in the Vatican today; The Pope asserted during an interview with the Catholic Times Magazine, that Catholics who gave their confessions to Homo Priests would not be absolved from their sins -- he stated; 

"Priests who have been found outa to be queers have no standing with Goda, and any absolutions whicha they gave --are null and voida!"

Catholic Times Vatican reporter, Faba Nugatzi asked the Pope; "But your emminence, these Catholic members of your flock had no way of knowing that they were confessing to homo's - and if their sins are serious and not forgiven -- they will go to Hell?"

"Atsa tough titty!", replied the Pope. "Do you thinka God isa gonna accept the Confession from a Priest who just gota finished sticking hisa tinga into some young Altar boy?"

The reporter replied, "But your Holiness, i was talking to a man who confessed that he had sodomized and tortured his three year old son while he was under the influence of pain killers and alcohol due to post traumatic stress syndrome from serving in Iraq - as a life long Catholic he lived in constant fear of going to Hell prior to his confession. - SO NOW - What will he do when he hears your announcement that he will not be absolved from his venal sins?"

The Pope answered,"Well he is justa gonna have to commit his sins all over again and finda, if he can, a non homo Priest -- and confess all over again, and then he will hava fresh starta with Goda."

"But Your Emminence --that makes no sense! -- it's cruel and an abomination of Christ's Gospel."

The Pope concluded, "Well thatsa the Churcha for you – adiosa!"

Pope Francis Will Be Sodomized To Protest Child Rape By Priests

In a shocking revelation the Pope has announced that he will allow himself to be sodomized by a Priest to protest what he called:

"A catholic clergy that is overrun with priests who enjoy fucking children!"

He went on; "and any priest at whatever level of authority that is implicit in this crime of all crimes will be sodomized and castrated -henceforth"

Confessions to Gay Priests Don't Count says Pope Francis

 In an amazing revelation from His Eminence in the Vatican today; The Pope asserted during an interview with the Catholic Times Magazine, that Catholics who gave their confessions to Homo Priests would not be absolved from their sins -- he stated; 

"Priests who have been found outa to be queers have no standing with Goda, and any absolutions whicha they gave --are null and voida!"

Catholic Times Vatican reporter, Faba Nugatzi asked the Pope; "But your emminence, these Catholic members of your flock had no way of knowing that they were confessing to homo's - and if their sins are serious and not forgiven -- they will go to Hell?"

"Atsa tough titty!", replied the Pope. "Do you thinka God isa gonna accept the Confession from a Priest who just gota finished sticking hisa tinga into some young Altar boy?"

The reporter replied, "But your Holiness, i was talking to a man who confessed that he had sodomized and tortured his three year old son while he was under the influence of pain killers and alcohol due to post traumatic stress syndrome from serving in Iraq - as a life long Catholic he lived in constant fear of going to Hell prior to his confession. - SO NOW - What will he do when he hears your announcement that he will not be absolved from his venal sins?"

The Pope answered,"Well he is justa gonna have to commit his sins all over again and finda, if he can, a non homo Priest -- and confess all over again, and then he will hava fresh starta with Goda."

"But Your Emminence --that makes no sense! -- it's cruel and an abomination of Christ's Gospel."

The Pope concluded, "Well thatsa the Churcha for you – adiosa!"

Paula Deen's New BBQ Sauce Line --"Nigga Hot Lips" - from The Queen of Southern Racist Cooking

The Queen of Southern racism in the kitchen announced today:

"Nigga Hot Lips" is so tasty and hot every Big Lipped Nigga in the world will be begging for more of my new "Big Lipped Nigga Hot " Recipes!" AND my new "Big Lipped Nigga"  HotCookbook!"

AND

"Them Jews at The Food Network will be beggin me to come back!"

 

Moishe Pipick VP programming at The Food Network responded:

'Paula Deen is a Racist Redneck Southern Cracker and she can go stick her nigga lip sauce in her fat crotch!"

Rush Limbaugh Says Drinking Age Should be 35 – Early Drinking Ruined His life!

He told Fox news today while visiting the Koch Brothers at Their Ranch in Aspen Colorado: - “If I had not started drinking at 18 I would not be sitting here around the pool with my best pals the Koch Brothers and getting drunk and high out of my Gourd on Oxycotin with four Russian Hookers!”

“These libtards are so fcking permissive with their liberal spawn that they can get away with anything!” He said.

Martha Moronowitz of Fox news asked a deeply insightful question; “ Like what?”

“Well Moron?” - “That's Moronowitz not Moron said Moronowitz.” - “Well Moronowitz said Limbaugh: - “LIKE premarital sex – masturbation -dating and hanging out with homos and lesbo's or whateverbo's and interacial dating and them Mexis - OH and of course Jews!”

“Anything else?” Asked Moronowitz and Limbaugh replied in a drunken high fury!”

“Fcking A!” “If it weren't for drinking atan early age and then adopting a fcked up lifestyle do you think I would have slept with Anne Coulter and Sarah Palin while partying in Las Vegas and wound up with the worst case of Syphilus my Dick Doctor ever saw???”

Christian Red State Rednecks Treat Their Children Like Crap That Flows Downhill

http://digibandito.com/1/post/2013/04/god-loving-americans-treat-their-children-like-garbage.html

At Last - "The Onion WITH Balls!" - welkum

The Onion WITH Balls

http://digibandito.com/onions-with-balls.html

  kum visit this happy "Onion With Balls" blogland where redneck politicians and christian redneck morons and tv offerings for the mentally impaired and demagoguing (A leader who obtains power by means of impassioned appeals to the emotions and prejudices of the populace/rabble) -hence rabble rousers.) are treated like the ignorant assholes which they are -  and where a virulent policy of disdain for all things religious and gun related and where intolerance is not tolerated - rules the day AND where those who misguide and mistreat dogs and children are hung out to dry and wither in the sunshine of reason logic -science understanding and compassion AND where vulgarity is not restrained but emoted out of frustration and for punctuation AND much more!

 do unto others unless you are full of shit

Fat Drug Addled Hog - Rush Limbaugh Raises All Our Health Care

Why Should Government Health Care Cover Fat Hogs Like Rush Limbaugh

SO you don't want health providers to cover contraception? -You don't think it's valid to allow women to have casual sex without running the risk of having to undergo an abortion for an unwanted child (like we don't have enough of these) AND you also don't want effective government programs to help single mothers under the psychological and financial distress caused by these unwanted births? AND maybe like many Evangelican Cookoos you also just think SEX was designed by God to procreate ONLY - and of course that a handful of cells (ALL Scientific evidence notwhistanding) represents the wanton killing of a Human Being  ( hey shouldn't that require the death penalty if it's a life?):

OK  -BUT -Then we don't want health providers paying out hundreds of billions of dollars for medical deficiencies that are a direct result of Obesity - Poor Nutrition - Excessive Alcohol Consumption - Smoking and all undisciplined life style behaviors with absolute direct statistical links to Heart and Mental Disease and Diabetes and Lung Cancer!

 This is NOT  a faith based rationale imposing Religion on the vast majority of Americans who believe that Sex (casual or fidelity based) is an intrinsic and fulfulling part of life and who also respect a women's right to privacy and want to avoid the destructive ongoing growth of single mothers and it's toll on our society  - BUT RATHER:

 they don't call me RUSH for nothin -pass The Oxycotin!

A reasonable desire and proposal to NOT pay for illness which directly ensues from the weak self determined choices of folks who just want to act like pigs and have the government pay for it -LIKE:

That obese drug addicted Demigogue -Rush Limbaugh!

Why should insurance premiums be escalated to the point of being unaffordable by average hard working Americans while a gross undisciplined Oxycotin Addicted Hog like Limbaugh -making 30 million dollars a year - Eventually has (God willing) a heart attack or stroke due to his personal life style choices - and we all have to chip in to pay for it???

Or for all those other overweight fast food addicted and alcohol guzzling and cigarette smokingChristian Conservatives (among others) who don't give a crap about their health and have high rates of heart and lung disease (and mostly obese children)

OH -and Jesus was thin and active and had a glass of Goat milk and some figs (for constipation) every day. -And he didn't booze or smoke!

Free Golden Bullshit! -Bring Whole The family

//digibandito.com/8/post/2013/08/a-treasure-trove-of-meaningless-bullshit.html

The Onion WITH Balls

http://digibandito.com/onions-with-balls.html

Vladimer Putin Must Have Been Raped When In KBG -Boycott NBC and Russian Vodka!

 i hate ALL faggots

Russia's new anti-gay legislation, which includes a law allowing authorities to detain tourists or foreign nationals who are gay or pro-gay, casts a cloud on NBC's coverage of the 2014 Winter Games in Sochi. 

While the International Olympic Committee said that they have "received assurances from the highest level of the government in Russia that the legislation will not affect those attending or taking part in the Games," the increasingly loud condemnations of Russia's laws has human rights activists urging NBC to take action. 

 Mommy Why can't we go to Russia?

Chad Griffin, president of the Human Rights Campaign, sent a letter to NBCUniversal CEO Stephen Burke urging the company "to expose this inhumane and unjust law to the millions of American viewers who will tune in to watch the Games."

 half the Russian Army is queer and ALL their Priests

Carlos Danger For NYC Mayor - Frisky Spitzer for Controller - The Deviant Party

The Reporter said that it had spoken with a woman, whom it did not name, who provided copies of her communications 

with a man who was apparently Mr. Weiner AKA "Carlos Danger" on The Web. 

The man engaged in explicit discussions of sexual acts he said he fantasized about performing with her, and sent her a picture of his penis; she told him, “Your health care rants were a huge turn-on.” The woman, 22 at the time, alleged that Mr. Weiner offered her an apartment, and proposed that he visit her. 

 Ted Supports The Deviants

 

 

Only In New York!

Pope Francis Will Be Sodomized To Protest Child Rape By Priests

In a shocking revelation the Pope has announced that he will allow himself to be sodomized by a Priest to protest what he called:

"A catholic clergy that is overrun with priests who enjoy fucking children!"

He went on; "and any priest at whatever level of authority that is implicit in this crime of all crimes will be sodomized and castrated -henceforth"

Fox News Announces - Joey Buttafuoco and Amy Fisher To Anchor Prime Time Hour

Fox News president Roger (fatty Arbuckle) Ailes said today: " The Butta fuoco/Fisher News Hour will be a natural addition to our lineup and enhances our ongoing commitment to provide both fast breaking and in depth news - commentary and analysis for our primary demographic - Redneck Christian Morons."

 i am not fucking Amy says Roger Ailes

Elliot Spitzer likes High priced Hookers - Who Doesn't?

Elliot and doggy wife

 

 i'm here Elliot

The most sexual and gorgeous woman you have ever dreamed about arrives at your home -- she performs sex acts that will make your wife or girl friend forever seem like sleeping with Rush Limbaugh - and here's the best part:

SHE LEAVES!

So - let's get real about all this flap with Eliot Spitzer - it doesn't mean a fucking thing except he had the desire and the money and an ugly nagging wife.

 

ps at least he's not a fucking deviat like Weiner

"The Golden Stool" -The Onion WITH Balls -what Christ REALLY said

https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Golden-Stool/157970981028939?ref=hl

what Christ really said:

"do unto others as you would have them do unto you if you are NOT full of bullshit"

NYC Bar Special - A Spritzer - A Weiner -One Hooker -One Porno DVD - $250

Only in NYC would  two Disgraced Deviant Jews  have the Chutzpah to show their faces in public again - let alone run for public office again -OH - AND have a shot at being elected!

 how else are these ugly jews gonna get their rocks off -you ever see their wives- oye vey!

Lesbian Love Making Misread by NSA -Homeland Security Arrests Lesbo Couple in Humboldt, CA.

Esther and Miriam Applebaum - two married lesbians in Humboldt, CA. were having a nice quiet night of lovemaking when they heard the whirring of a Helicoptor and about 5 minutes later armed personnel of the Homeland Security Forces had them both handcuffed to a radiator in their bedroom because the NSA heard the following audio exchange from their computers in Nevada:

"Oh Oh that's so good Miriam -oh oh that is so perfect --NOW Miriam! Now! - Give it to me - - ok ok i am ready

Give Me The Rocket booster -NOW!!!"

"At that moment we heard a loud buzzing noise" said NSA technician Omar Farid and then; 

"Oh yes! -YE-ESS! - i am LAUNCHED!! -OH my God Esther!!!"

 what are you guys doing here?

"And that's when we sent in Homeland Security not knowing that it was just Miriam inserting a Dildo into Esther's bung hole -We thought it was a rocket launcher attack on The Humboldt national Guard Command Center."

Moishe Pipick head of strategic coordination between NSA and HLS said; "We are very sorry for this mistaken intrusion ( hehheh) and we have offered the gals an all expense paid weekend in las Vegas"

Louis Mandelbaum of Mandelbaum -Schwartz - Goldstein - Meyrowitz and Goldenberg Attorneys at law said;

"These lesbos will be millionaires when we are through!"