Rolex Announces "Cheat Like a Tiger" Edition

"When you're a serious "Cheater" -you have GOT to know the Exact time at All times -and manage your time very effectively -and Rolex is proud to sponsor Tiger Woods as we launch the new eighteen carat gold diamond encrusted -limited edition- "Cheat Like A Tiger" super accurate Rolex!": said Moishe Pipick worldwide head of marketing and promotion for the Rolex timepiece corporation.

He went on: :When Tag Haur cancelled Tiger we were waiting in the wings -it's such an ideal sponsorship because 95% of Rolex owners are serious 'Cheaters" -and while Tag Haur has a 75% Cheating demographic -49% of their sales are generated from the wives who are being cheated on."

Furthermore he said " Tag Haur has a very high percentage of homo users who have always believed that Tiger was bisexual - and we have a sworn affidavit from Tiger purporting that he has never cheatred on his wife with a homo"

Pipick concluded: "Oh - and when you buy a "Cheat Like A Tiger" Rolex -you get a thirty percent reduction on the platinum with rubies " Ladies" Model Rolex" in case you want your mistress of the moment to enjoy a magnificent Holiday gift"

"Especially nice for Hanuckah" said Pipick - or even Purim"