Catholics Ruined Valentins' Day -bring back Lupercalai

On this day of amative imaginings and billet- doux - I thought you might be interested in the Pagan provenance of Valentine's day --"Lupercalia"

"The Lupercalia festival was in honor of the She-Wolf who suckled the infant orphans, Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome. Explaining the name of the festival, Lupercalia, which translates out into "Wolf Festival." The festival was celebrated near the cave of Lupercal on the Palatine (where Rome was founded, see Livy, Book I), to expiate and purify new life in the Spring..

The festival began with the sacrifice by the Luperci (or the flamen dialis) of two male goats and a dog. Next two patricianyoung Luperci were led to the altar, to be anointed on their foreheads with the sacrificial blood, which was wiped off the bloody knife with wool soaked in milk, after which they were expected to smile and laugh; the smearing of the forehead with blood probably refers to human sacrifice originally practised at the festival.

The sacrificial feast followed, after which the Luperci cut thongs from the skins of the victims, which were called Februa, dressed themselves in the skins of the sacrificed goats -- and then everyone ran around fornicating and drinking and dancing until they dropped!

This looked like too much fun to the Ancient Queer Priests so they turned it into a sappy, lovey dovey religious farce - BUT!
Little did they know that healthy modern folks of all ages would return to their Lupercalic roots - only with different outfits and bling.

This is a sure sign that the rule of the Queer Priests is waning - but we gotta bring back the goats and she wolves!

Happy Lupercalia everyone!

TLC Anounces "Doggy Style" - The Lobotomy Channel Strikes Again

The Learning (aka lobotomy) Channel just keeps adding to our learning quotient AND this time we are going to learn about the history of anal sex as early humans watched dogs fuck and adapted their style of sex and which eventually expanded MOSTLY among Priests and Rednecks to full blown anal cornholing.

 The Learning Channel head of programming at his desk

Sarah Palin Has Terminal Venereal Disease from Fucking Eskimos

Well at last we know where Sarah palin has dissapeared to:

our sources found out she has been admitted to The Anchorage Venereal Disease Ward and has been diagnosed with Terminal Clap!

Tod Palin said; "I told her to stop fucking Eskimos but she just loved to get banged in an igloo out there on the tundra"

"She told me that she never felt like a moron when she 

was fucking Eskimos and blamed the press for her clap"

Now there's something the press has never been blamed for before

North Korea Leader offers To Cook BO - as Peace Offering

North Koreans Offer To Cook Bo For Obama Reception

 Dog meat Keeps North Koreans Strong

Ill Jong Cock - North Korea's demented ruler has offered the services of his palace chefs to turn the Obamas new puppy BO into a North Korean specialty - Baked and Pickled Portuguese Water Dog with sauteed hog balls.

 please don't eat us

 North Korean Moronic leader

Suk Mai Kok -head palace chef - said; "The Obama's made a very wise choice in selecting a Portuguese Water Dog -The only other dog that is more succulent and tasty is maybe a young Golden Retriever that has been marinated for four days in pig urine -and then roasted slowly for five hours at 225 degrees"

He continued : "Our Glorious leader sees the selection of this tasty dog by the White House as a symbol of a new attitude towards North Korea -and has the potential to unlock our differences over the Nuclear issues:"
 

He concluded; "Any US President that would choose a rare and delicious Portuguese Water Dog as a feast for his children -is well on the way to creating a meaningful dialogue with North Korea."

Germans Sad to see Ex Nazi Pope Retire

The Web site of the newspaper Bild, which famously declared “We Are Pope” nearly eight years ago when Benedict was elected, ran an enormous headline that read “Our German exNazi Pope Benedict Steps Down,” followed by his entire statement in German on a slightly mottled brown background, as if it were old parchment.

Gotye is a Human Vagina - Perfect for Tween Appeal

 American Youth Has The Energy of A Dead Pussy

 

 this Gotye guy is a dead vagina

i wish i had some cock energy

Atmospherics: Slo-mo brooding; itchy bass; narcoleptic-turned-WAHWAHAH vocals. It starts out okay enough, then turns into four minutes of Gotye making sad faces and saying that his ex-girlfriend hurt his feelings because she didn't want to lay in the flowers at the park with him anymore or something.
Scientific Analysis: Look, Gotye, I get it: Breaking up sucks. But, dude, you're sounding like a real super vagina here. And super vaginas aren't scientifically accurate. Honestly, I'm not even sure what a super vagina is. I guess it might maybe be, like, a superhero that does a lot of Kegel exercises or whatever? I don't know. I know I looked through a science book for 45 minutes and the closest thing I could find was this regular vagina.

.

Camel Farting to Women's Screams Huge Hit in Saudi Arabia

A Camel's farting synched to a Women's screams while being beaten by a Mullah is now number one on You Tube in Saudi Arabia - Home to the Stoneage Sheikdom where women are less than slaves and the extreme wahabbi muslims rule over ALL culture like morons from hell

Frank Ocean and his Tweeny Fans Should be Deported

You GOTTA be kidding me Frank

 dem tweens it it up like ear cock

Fans of Frank Ocean (and every tween girl) who find inspiration in THAT moany muck of simplistic bullshit narrative about sex and love and longing -should all be deported to some fucking place which has been isolated from the development of recorded music (somewhere in the Arab Desert would work where Camel farting synched to women screaming dominates the top ten) 

 

 I mean -if you really want to know the link between pop culture and  all the sick shit prevalent in our youth - just listen to Frank Ocean moaning his dick off at tween girls - and just think about all the really great sounds they are missing -and their total sensory dysfunction - 

they are the human ape equivalent of  a young Chimpanzee dancing in the trees with a fucking banana -hoo hoo hoo.

History Lesson - " Ugly Fucking Swamp People" - is Back

 The History Channel which is in a tight competition with TLC for  helping us to understand the World has brought back:

The fourth season of Ugly Fucking Swamp People is back on HISTORY's schedule beginning Thursday, February 14 at 9p.  

This new season follows the   ugly fucking swampers of Louisiana as they deal with the aftermath of Hurricane Isaac that brought on new opportunities for cornholing vagrants and  raping 'City women"  in addition to a new opportunity to gang rape poachers from Texas.  

Swamp People is produced by Original Media for HISTORY.

Mitt Romney Released from Mental Hospital - BUT

Ann Romney stated: "We picked him up and at first he seemed calmer and more focused after the lobotomy BUT...'

"There was a report on the radio and as soon as he heard O'Bama speaking he started screaming and he tried to choke the limo driver  and then he removed his pants and started to jerk off!"

Mrs Romney went on;  "This is the last straw for us - the family has all agreed that he needs to be sent to The Mormon Home for The Criminally Insane"

She concluded: - "To tell you the truth -  am beginning to believe that all these Mormons are as wacko as their founder Joseph (the magician) Smith -they certainly look a like!"

Romney with a wig

Why Men's Ball Are Shrinking

Why Are Men's  Balls Shrinking?

There you have it!

Constant and Unrelenting Ballbusting from Frustrated Women 

 

Death By ballsqueeze - In China

According to witnesses talking to China News 24, the woman was riding a scooter and tried to park it in front of the man's shop. She was going to pick up her son, who attends the elementary school in that neighborhood.
The man went out of the shop and told her that she couldn't park her scooter there. She protested and a the shouting match started. After a while they started to fight physically. The woman called her husband and brother, who came to the scene. But things got a lot worse than just a few smacks here and there: the woman grabbed the man's testicles and squeezed them so hard and long that the man shutdown. He collapsed on the ground out of the pain and, worse, he was dead. Yes, people. dead by ballsqueeze.

BUT -Dr Moishe Pipick world acclaimed expert on ball shrinkage -said:

"While ballsqueeze is horrific and will kill you -it is the slow and unrelenting ballbreaking by modern cuntyism that is taking the most devastating toll on men. "
 

Posted 2nd November 2012 by

Chinese say "Puppies belong in RICE Bowl NOT on TV

Chinese Angry at Puppy Bowl - "Puppies should be eaten in a RICE Bowl

 Puppies are Nutritous and Tasty

Chinese leaders were livid today because they said they have so many starving children and here we are in America making a big show out of Puppies in "The Puppy  Bowl"

They stated 'Puppies should be cooked and eaten in a RICE Bowl

The Founding Fathers Are laughing at Gun Nuts and The NRA

Founding Fathers Would laugh Their Asses Off at NRA Loonies

The Second Amendment allowed for state militias on the cheap, by using citizens arms. It also was a counter balance to the power of the federal government. But the Second Amendment has been an anachronism for over 150 years. State Militias , now known as the National Guard, issue arms to its members. In addition, the most significant arms in the modern military include fighter jets, misiles, artillery, heavy weapons and such, not the kind of things most parents want floating around the neighborhood. To allow anyone to own such arms by right is completely uncivilized and not the kind of world most sane people would want to raise a family in.   - SO

Everyone should be able to hunt and satisfy those atavistic and regressive tendencies - and/or protect his home -BUT all this gun worship psychopathy  

by weak minded males who worship guns as adult toys and think they are standing by in case our government goes berserk is fucking ridiculous -it just creates a Cowboy Macho Culture awash in weapons that does not protect life -it destroys life and all the statistics support that.

9 Million Folks World Wide Had Anal Sex During SuperBowl

Moishe Pipick president of Cultural Research at The Institute for The Study of Anal Sex in Berne ,Switzerland announced today:

"Men and Women all over the globe love to cornhole each other while watching football AND this year was a new record with the Chinese and Indians jumping heavily onboard" (oops a pun)

He continued - "also  the number of Priests and Mullahs butt fucking each other has reached a new high with the Mosques edging out the Vatican this year for the first time since we began keeping records in 1897."

 i'm getting turned on bro

Dr. Pipick concluded: " The blackout in New Orleans contributed to the increase this year and also we have to adjust for all the rednecks in America -especially Louisiana who were fucking their barn animals which is a steadily increasing trend during the Super Bowl."

Mccain had to be Fucking Palin

Or he should go down in history as the biggest asshole in the history of congress

tell me John -you WERE fucking her! -Right?