xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#'. The Digibandit: Tiger Woods Becoming A Mormon

Saturday, January 02, 2010

Tiger Woods Becoming A Mormon

Tiger announced today: " The thing i like about the Mormons -especially the conservative ones -is that with "Plural Marriages" -aka Polygamy -i can get all the pussy i want and it's ok with God as decreed by their founder Joseph Smith"

"It seems that Joseph couldn't keep his dick in his pants (like me heh heh) -only this guy was completely outa control -he had like forty wives he was hiding -so finally he just conjured up another one of his "revelations" -and wammo! - Mormons could start telling all their good looking young family members that they had to marry them and fuck them cause god said so - even if they were only fourteen .

"I mean -now i can get all the hot pussy i want and the sponsors won't care because if it's cool with god - why should they give a shit how much pussy i get?"

"Oh -and get this! -if i knock up some of these wives -i just wait until they are fourteen -and then i can fuck them too!"

Tiger concluded: "If you think I'm making this stuff up i suggest you read "Under The Banner of heaven" by Jon Krakaur- These Mormons are hot stuff"

"And what can you expect from a religion with a horny delusional necromancer for a founder - and with an angel named Moron who gave Joseph Smith a gold bling bible with Egyptian lettering that was buried in America -and THAT is their holy book?"

"When these young Morons come around to your door -just sign up -and get all the free pussy you want -sent directly from God"