xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#'. The Digibandit: katie Couric Will Kill To Boost Ratings

Saturday, August 11, 2007

katie Couric Will Kill To Boost Ratings

As her news ratings continue their protracted swan dive --Katie's desperation has reached a dangerous peak!

Her mentor Les Moonsbeam president of CBS and his news gurus have tried every ugly programming trick; including as reported by the Bandit in previous bulletins: Showing her nipple -- having her voice dubbed over and becoming the worlds first actual news dummy -- and .having a replica of Walter Cronkite's head fitted over her own.

Nothing has worked to stop her ratings decline but now she has agreed to go along with CBS news management and go for broke!

On September first, the bandits' network news reporter Esther Ginsberg,
has found out; "katie and her news team and a special security attachment will enter Baghdad and travel to An-bar province, where Katie's mission will be to personally shoot and kill a Muslim extremist -And capture the killing - and her reaction on tape - for a CBS prime time special news hour report; "Katie Couric kills for you!"

Reached by phone today Katie said; "Look Esther -ive tried everything my sick bosses have asked of me -- so if i have to kill a lousy Muslim to prove to the audience that I'm not just another talk show pussy with great legs - why hell --I'll kill as many of those sick fucks as they want."

Katie concluded; "killing a Jihadist can't be half as bad as going down on Les ."