xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#'. The Digibandit: Mickey Mouse Becomes A Black "Pimp Mouse"

Thursday, November 05, 2009

Mickey Mouse Becomes A Black "Pimp Mouse"

LOS ANGELES — For decades, the Walt Disney Company has largely kept Mickey Mouse frozen under glass, fearful that even the tiniest tinkering might tarnish the brand and upend his $5 billion or so in annual merchandise sales.

Now, however, concerned that Mickey has become more of a schmucky corporate symbol than a beloved character for recent generations of young people, Disney is taking the risky step of re-imagining him for the future as a Black "Pimp Mouse"

The first glimmer of this will be the introduction next year of a new video game, Epic Mickey, in which the formerly squeaky clean character can be cantankerous and cunning, as well as heroic, as he traverses a forbidding wasteland shtupping hot chics and killing white cops.

Moishe Pipick -head of Disney public relations said; " Let's face it -iwe are just a marketing moment away from parents suddenly realizing that their kids are using their Mickey Mouse shit as sex toys -I mean a fucking MOUSE invented in the forties for kids who spend ten hours a day with Grand Theft Auto?"

"I mean" - said Pipick - "the Mouse thing is cool - but it's gotta be "Pimped" for today's wacko kids"

Elise mandelbaum -digibandit entertainment reporter asked Pipick; "Well what the fuck about Goofy?"

"Excellent question Elise!" - "Goofy is being transformed -as we speak - into a cool rock star who runs a Medical Marijuana store in Venice Beach, California -and who also does porno movies."

"Wow! -said Mandelbaum -"Disney is really going for broke!"

"Yep" said Pippick - "And when you see Goofy you are gonna want to put those bodacious tata's of yours in his Goofy'mouth"



And at the same time, in a parallel but separate effort, Disney has quietly embarked on an even larger project to rethink the character’s personality, from the way Mickey walks and talks to the way he appears on the Disney Channel and how children interact with him on the Web — even what his house looks like at Disney World.