xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#'. The Digibandit: Rudy Giuliani To Buy Mexico With Donald Trump

Monday, May 21, 2007

Rudy Giuliani To Buy Mexico With Donald Trump

"Mexico is a super rich country -- with tremendous natural resources and unlimited potential," said Republican presidential frontrunner Rudy Giuliani in a press conference with the Donald at a Wall Street press conference, with their hedge fund partner in this venture, Goldman Sachs." We will buy Mexico on a leveraged buy-out basis just like it was a Corporation by offering every Mexican citizen five thousand American dollars and then they will vote to become "Americans". said Giuliani.

Moishe Pipickwitz ,President of Goldman Sachs, said ,"a lot of rich Mexicans are gonna be pretty pissed , but they have been screwing their people so much for so long that it's just tough shit -- their Government is totally corrupt and run by drug lords. -- Giuliani and Trump will take over as joint chairmen of Mexico and will immediately break ground on " The Mexico World Gringo Palace" -- a pleasure and gambling zone that will cover all of Southern Mexico." Pipickwitz continued"All drugs will be legalized as well as prostitution and gambling -- this will eliminate all crime and corruption problems and create huge revenue streams.

This bold plan will basically illeminate illegal immigration to the United States, as Mexicans will come streaming back across the border for the exciting new opportunities in Mexico Inc. (it could,however, create huge emmigration from the United States which we will have to keep an eye on, especially with the establishment of universal health care for all Mexican citizens).

Trump also said; " Long term, Donald and I are working on a plan to buy Iraq -- relocate it's few remaining "normal citizens" and all women and children -- settling it with Mexicans and then selling the oil and dividing the revenue among all the soldiers who served there."

Asked about whether there would be a place in his cabinet for Trump if elected President, Rudy responded; " Does a bear shit in the woods?"