xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#'. The Digibandit: Albert (Speedy) Gonzales Finally Gets The Message

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Albert (Speedy) Gonzales Finally Gets The Message

Back in June The bandit got the real scoop on Gonzales!

Alberto Gonzales Has Penile Dysfunction -- Say's Mistress
Beleaguered Attorney General,Alberto Gonzales, is really in deep shit after his ex mistress Meredith Easton;who plays Maudey Beasley on Boston Leagal -- spilled the beans (or should we say the habichuelos.)

Meridith told the bandit's Holywood reporter that "Speedy" --the nickname she gave him (after the Mexican cartoon character) because"He cums in about twenty seconds --his record is sixty five seconds." She continued with her shocking revelations that shed new light on the mysterious firings of U.S Attorneys who had sterling performance records:

"Speedy hates tall people! --Especially tall Wasps! -- He told me that he was going to get rid of a whole bunch of tall and snotty gringo U.S Attorneys."She went on;"Speedy is actually only one quarter of an inch above the legal definition of a dwarf and he is insanely jealous of normal men. When he saw me romantically involved with Bill Shatner on Boston Legal he told me i was a dwarf slut and that he would have the Justice Department look into Shatner's background and taxes.

"Meredith continued; "Actually, 'Speedy' is hung like a moose -- but he can't control his cum passion.When i told him that Shatner can go for hours he went crazy. -- He even slammed a law book on his cock in frustration -- he thought the pain would slow him down -- but not 'Speedy!' --He blew his wad in fifteen seconds and started crying -- "Those fucking gringos on The Senate Judiciary Committee -- especially that kike Arnold Spector -- they hate me because i'm a dwarf!"

"Speedy" -- i mean Attorney General Gonzales, could not be reached for comment but President Bush reiterated his support for him and said; "Speedy?" -- hey that's cute! -- I used to love that cartoon. You know what? -- he does look a lot like that little Mexican feller --heh heh heh!"