xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#'. The Digibandit: America Cannot Have A president Named "MITT"!

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

America Cannot Have A president Named "MITT"!

I got to thinkin about the name --Mitt! - And why in the hell would anyone name their child Mitt? - In most neighborhoods if you are named Mitt you learn to become a polished street fighter very quickly ie. "Hey Mitt! - Somethin stinks! --Did you shit? --Mitt!" and then it's boom bam boom unless you grew up in "Mitt's" swanky neighborhood where most of the kids have verbs and nouns for first names - like 'Mitt's" son Tag whose best friend is probably named Lane.

"Now Mitt you make sure you put away the croquet equipment after you and Laney are finished" says Momma Romney - "And don't get your Gucci's all muddy because we have to get over to the club for dinner with Poppa Mitt."

I couldn't resist logging onto what'sinaname.com to get the full origin of "Mitt's" mittiness - and here it is for your enjoyment - oh you better have a puke bowl handy because it's not very pretty!

"Then there's the former governor of Massachusetts and current Republican presidential candidate, Mitt Romney. The humorist Roy Blount Jr. says every time he hears "Mitt Romney" he thinks it's a German konditorei order, like "mit schlag." Me, I can't help thinking "Mitt" is an abbreviation for "Mittens." Like Ralph Wiggum's cat. Mr. Romney's given name is Willard Milton--again, not a name likely to win points on playgrounds. (For the record, the double name honors a relative, Milton Romney, and the hotel magnate and fellow Mormon J. Willard Marriott, Mitt's father's best friend.) So why not "Will"? Or even "Milt"? Why the inevitable association with fingerless hand coverings? And why, oh why, are the sins of the grandfather visited on the grandson? Why did Mitt name one of his five sons Tagg? Because he's It?"

Now - having read this - if you can still consider voting for this fagot - i would suggest shaving your ass and walking backwards -- hand in hand with your wife and kids - Biffy Buffy and Muffy = off a fucking cliff onto some rocks into the ocean near your seaside vacation home.