xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#'. The Digibandit: Even Halloween Sucks In American Schools

Friday, October 30, 2009

Even Halloween Sucks In American Schools

A memo about costume appropriateness sent home recently by Riverside Drive’s (LA) principal made the following points:

¶They should not depict gangs or horror characters, or be scary.

¶Masks are allowed only during the parade.

¶Costumes may not demean any race, religion, nationality, handicapped condition or gender.

¶No fake fingernails.

¶No weapons, even fake ones.

¶Shoes must be worn.

Joel Bishoff’s children will make the cut at Riverside Drive. His second grader will be Dorothy (not the witch!) from “The Wizard of Oz,” while his fifth-grade son will wear a costume depicting a box of Wheaties.

And then young Moishe Bishoff will go home and jump on his xbox -assume the role of a black teenage gang banger - and start slaughtering cops and old ladies for four hours.

His sister Sarah will be up in her room watching "Girls Gone Bad" while she revs up her vibrator -and Mom will be in the kitchen washing down her Xanax with a Martini while watching "Desperate Housewives of Whore Valley" -and Dad is late because he's out fucking his assistant.

So shove the Wheaties and Carrots costumes up your local school board's assholes -and get with the program.

It's Rome 500 AD baby - way to late for Goofy and Mickey Mouse - Everyday is Halloween in this fun house of a country -and you don't NEED a costume.

Happy Halloweeny!