"After a sex starved Jesus arrived on Earth to take Anna Nicole Smith up to heaven -- and instead spent five days in Rome banging the shit out of her; he seems to have acquired a heavenly lust for sex and has refused God's demands to return immediatey to heaven and resume his duties as Savior,"said Pope Bendadick at the Vatican this morning.
God told the Pope that Christ was seen in the bar at a private South Beach retreat in Miami looking like Antonio Banderas and with his hand up Paris Hilton's dress -- the Pope went on;"God is very concerned that this is a modern day replay of the Garden of Eden and the role of the Apple is being played by American pussy Queens."
God said ; "If he doesn't come home soon we are in real trouble - i might have to end Christianity and turn over religion exclusively to the Jews: You don't see Abraham or Moses dropping down to earth for a fling with some piece of ass Jewish celebrity and Allah and Mohammad just talk all day on the phone with suicide bombers."
God went on;"I'll give him a little more breathing room -- maybe i should have let him fuck some of my private stock of working Angels,but he was so messed up from the crusifiction ( fiction a pun) that i thought he couldn't get it up?"
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