xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#'. The Digibandit: Gay Cali Prisoners Denied Asshole Lubricant

Sunday, June 03, 2007

Gay Cali Prisoners Denied Asshole Lubricant

Gay Inmates to Be Granted Conjugal Visits in California
Published: June 3, 2007 New York Times
SAN FRANCISCO, June 1 — Gay and lesbian prisoners in California will be allowed overnight visits with their partners under a new prison policy, believed to be the first time a state has allowed same-sex conjugal stays.

However, Merle Cyanide, head of the California penal administration has refused to allow the sale of asshole lubricants in the prison commissaries.

"Typical American social progress -- the Liberals pass compassionate laws and the Conservatives fight social justice tooth and nail!" said Blake Muffster, spokesman for the gay and lesbian rights council. "Here's a lonely and sex starved homo felon who finally gets to have a conjugal visit:and he is forced to take it up a dry asshole!"

He continued; "I'd like to see these right- wing rednecks that fight against these compassionate laws - sodomize their fat wives without some asshole lubricant." -- " The problem is that in an election year it will be very difficult for politicians to take a stand for mandatory stocking of asshole creams in prison commissaries ."

He stated," We are hopeful that Barney Frank, the fiery and principled gay congressman from Massachusetts will lead the fight on capitol hill, and if we can get to the Supreme Court we know that we will have the support of Justice Thomas, who probably uses more asshole cream than any one in Washington."

Some liberals, like Senator John Kerry have said; "Let's not make a stand on this issue -- why can't the conjugal visitors just load up their assholes with cream before arriving at the prison."

"Well John, i replied, have you ever sat on a bus for three hours with your asshole filled with lubricant?" --To which he replied, "Many times!"