xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#'. The Digibandit: Southern Baptists Seek New Song Book - Here's An Idea!

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Southern Baptists Seek New Song Book - Here's An Idea!

I heard a report onNPR radio today that the Southern Baptists are having a debate over their "Hymnal." You know those catchy tunes that they sing praising the Lord that sound like they were written by mental patients.

Yep - there's a hot debate going on between the traditional Baptists who prefer the oldy but goldy songs and the really hip Baptists that want to be more relevent for the younger members of their cult.. (the elders refer to these new songs as seven elevens because they basically say "And we should all praise the lord" and repeat it eleven times.I guess that's a Baptist attempt at satire?

Well - i just can't resist weighing in with a proposed Baptist ditty that i feel represents the spirit of how the Chritian Gospel has impacted these folks -- based, that is, on their illustrious commitment to tolerance of all humanity and their keen sense of compassion and social justice. -Here goes:

"Mount This!"

(a Baptist song about Jesus' "Sermon On The Mount")

What Jesus meant was Watch your ass

For Jews Niggers and Queers

They changed the Masters holy Words

Slaughter them like steers

Chorus: They changed the Masters holy words

Slaughter Them like Steers

Jesus said To love thy neighbors

Except the ones we Hate

kikes and Spics and Chinks and Niggers

Treat em all like Bait

repeat chorus

It's catchy dontcha think? - Kinda sums up their history? -The melody should probably have a strong organ background mixed with the cracking of bullwhips and screams of agony.

I only hope these folks get to ask Jesus for his reaction as soon as possible.